The rest of dinner passed in a blur of awkward small talk. Every time Shaw moved, Hudson noticed. Every time Shaw's leg shifted under the table, Hudson felt it. At one point their feet brushed and Hudson nearly dropped hisfork.
Get it together, he told himself.You've seen combat. You've emergency-landed burning helicopters. You’ve got this.
The toasts started after dinner. Hudson knocked back more whiskey preparing himself for his upcoming speech.
When it was his turn, he cleared his throat, tapped the mic and immediately regretted agreeing to this.
“So,” he started, “three years ago, belly-down in the Montana dirt, Reed and I were on a recon assignment—” He paused as Reed muttered something from his seat. “Right,andphone guy. Very serious military business.”
Everyone laughed.
“Anyway, in the middle of all that, Reed turns to me and says he’s going to ask Sarah to marry him.” He turned to Reed. “Just like that. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.”
He let that land.
“I gave him a hard time about it. Obviously. But the thing is—” Hudson glanced down at his notes, then put them away. “The thing is, Reed knew. He just knew. And I remember wondering what that feels like. To be that certain about someone.”
He found Shaw across the table without meaning to, then his gaze shifted to Sarah.
“Sarah—I haven’t known you as long as this idiot has, but I’ve heard the way he talks about you. The way he’s talked about you for four years. I’d like to thinkI'm thereason he survived Selection with his personality intact, but we all know it was you.”
Hudson paused. Hadn’t meant to, but words caught in his throat.
“Reed might not seem that smart—” Reed flipped him off. “But it didn't take him long to figure out that risk isn'tthe scary part. The scary part is deciding you’re allowed to wantmorein the first place.”
Shaw sat very still across the table.
“Anyway.” He cleared his throat. “We do scary for a living. That’s the job. But this kind of scary—” he gestured at Reed and Sarah “—this is the one we usually run from. But life’s too short to be afraid of the good stuff. Turns out, Reed figured that out before any of us.” He raised his glass. “To Reed and Sarah. May you always go all in.”
Hudson sat down to applause and immediately reached for his whiskey.
"Not bad, Hale," Novak said.
"Who knew you had it in you,hermano," Fernandez agreed. “Very sensitive.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m serious. Hallmark would love you.”
“Shut up, dumbass.” Hudson laughed and threw his napkin at him.
Novak raised his glass. ”To Hale’s career in greeting cards.”
Shaw chuckled under his breath.
Across the room Reed got up and everyone fell quiet.
"I'm not good at speeches," Reed started, and everyone laughed because Reed was notorious for hating public speaking. "But Sarah made me promise I'd say something, so here we are."
When his eyes found Sarah, his entire face softened and a hot stab of jealousy hit Hudson.
"I spent a lot of years thinking I didn't need anyone," Reed said. "Thinking I was fine on my own. And I was. But fine isn't the same as happy. Fine isn't the same as knowing someone has your back no matter what, who sees all your flaws and loves you anyway."
Hudson's eyes stung again. Damn it. He wasnotgoing to cry at Reed’s wedding.
"So thank you," Reed said to Sarah. "For sticking around. For putting up with my shit. For making me realize that fine was never good enough when I could have this instead."
Everyone clapped. Sarah cried. Reed sat down looking relieved it was over.
