"Yeah." Shaw's voice was strained. "Like that."
Hudson kept going, watching Shaw's face for reactions. His eyes fluttered. His hands flexed. Hudson had never known power like this, never realized touch alone could undo someone so completely.
After a minute, Hudson hesitated, then leaned down.
Shaw's hand caught his shoulder. "Hale, you don't?—"
"Stop being bossy." Hudson looked up at him. "I want to. Just—tell me if I'm doing it wrong."
He'd never considered this. But right now, with Shaw looking at him like that, Hudson wanted it more than he wanted his next breath.
He swirled his tongue experimentally around the tip. Shaw was so hard, but the skin velvety soft. The reality of it knocked the air out of him.
Shaw's entire body went rigid. "Mon Dieu?—"
Hudson pulled back. "Bad?"
"No." Shaw's voice came out rough. "Definitely not bad."
Hudson tried again, more confident this time. He had no technique, no idea what he was doing, but he paid attention to the way Shaw's breathing changed, the sounds slipping out, the way his hand tightened in Hudson's hair.
It should probably have made him panic.Okay, part of him did panic. But mostly? Mostly it felt good.Hot as fuck even. And the sounds coming from Shaw? Yeah. Hudson could get used to those.
“Shit, Hale—you need to get off. I’m going to?—”
Hudson had no intention of stopping, so instead he took him deeper.
When Shaw came, his control shattered completely. His head was thrown back, hand tight in Hudson's hair, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Hudson pulled back and stared.
He seemed wrecked. Undone. Nothing like the controlled, careful person Hudson had been watching for weeks.
"You've never—" Shaw started.
"Nope." He sat back, trying to sound casual and failing. "First time."
"Jesus." Shaw ran a hand through his hair. "That shouldn't have been that good."
"Yeah, well. Guess I'm a natural."
Shaw snorted. Actually snorted. Who was this guy?
The shelter closed in around them. There was no space to process what had just happened. He'd had sex with Shaw—not just sex, but good sex—and panic crept up his spine.
"This doesn't mean anything," Hudson blurted out. "Right? We're—I don't know. Blowing off steam."
Shaw's face went blank. "Right. Blowing off steam."
"I'm not—" He stopped, unsure how to finish. This felt important to say but he didn’t know why. “I'm not gay.”
"I didn't say you were," Shaw said, already straightening his clothes. He didn’t look at him.
Hudson wanted to say something else. To explain that he wasn't trying to be an asshole, he needed Shaw to understand that this was a one-time thing, that it didn't change anything. But the words stuck in his throat. Shaw gave nothing back; only that careful blank expression that meant Hudson had fucked up somehow.
Great. Perfect. Just what they needed.
Neither of them said anything. They settled down to sleep, curled together in the tiny shelter because there was no other option. He closed his eyes, his heart still racing. Shaw's steady breathing beside him revealed he was awake too, both of them lying there pretending to sleep, the silence between them a completely different kind than it had been this morning.
They should talk about this. But Hudson kept his mouth shut, which was probably a first.
