I freeze. The fear must be messing with my head.
Because that voice belongs to a dead man.
27
Chapter 27 - Quinn
“Breathe,Q. I’m not going to hurt you. Do you recognize my voice?”
I can’t stop shivering, and it feels like my lungs won’t fill up. There’s a wheezing noise, and I think it might be me. My legs give out, and the man holding me helps me go down gently instead of collapsing in a heap.
“I’ve got you. Do you know who I am?”
It’s low and in my ear, but there is no way I wouldn’t. I nod with as much freedom of movement as he allows me.
“If I let you go, will you stay quiet?”
I nod again. After a moment, I’m free to move.
I close my eyes and whimper. Where’s Colt?
“Hey, I don’t want to rush you, Q, but we don’t have time to sit around and say all the things that need saying.”
This is a dream. Maybe I have to look at him in order to make myself wake up. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll look up and see nothing but blood. I open my eyes and see boots next to my legs. I follow them upwards, until I’m looking at a ghost.
“Surprise.” He smiles gently. “How are you holding up?”
“Axel.” It comes out as a whisper.
He’s tall. Was he this tall before he died, or did death give him a growth spurt? And scars. He still has the mark next to his eye from when he and Heath went swimming and smacked his head on something underwater. But now it has friends. A long slash near his jaw, and a circular burn mark on his throat.
What do I even say? So I don’t.
Instead I throw myself at him, surging to my feet and throwing punches as hard as I can, pounding his chest like it’s a drum. He doesn’t do a thing to stop me. Just lets me keep hitting him and hitting him.
“You’re dead!” My voice cracks as I break my promise to stay quiet. “Do you have any idea how hard it was when you left? Do you know what I went through? Did you watch me use the money on your funeral? Did you see when it ran out and we got evicted? Did you know when I got too big for her to keep hitting, so she started pinching? Did you know what it was like to sleep in the car with one ear open because she took sleeping pills and sometimes people would try the doors?” Every horrible thing I can think of comes pouring out, until all that’s left is to howl, “Why aren’t you dead?”
I trail off, ugly sobbing into his chest, my punches losing their power until I’m just holding my palms flat against him.
And then he finally puts his arms around me just like he used to, holding me gently. Heistaller and definitely broader.
It’s impossible, but he’s here. With me.
I don’t know whether to laugh, or cry, or murder him.
“You have no idea how fucking sorry I am, Q. I didn’t want to leave, and there’s a lot you don’t know.”
“The cops told us they’d identified your body. Weburiedyou!” I punch his chest again.
“Listen, I?—”
“No! You listen. If anyone’s going to listen, it’s you. I’ve been so alone, and it’s just been me and Mom. You left me alone with her!”
“I know that.” His growl is impatient. “But we don’t have the time. You’re in danger, and I need to get you?—”
The door from the hallways slams open and is filled with well over six feet of furious Colt. He’s got his gun up and it’s aimed right at Axel’s head. “I’m gonna give you one whole second to let go of her, or I’m gonna clear your skull of whatever little brain that’s left in there.”
Axel lifts his hands up immediately and backs off. “Not gonna hurt her. Trust me, she’s the last person on the whole planet I’d ever want to hurt.”
