Every time they show me what good men they are, it makes it harder. It makes me yearn for things I’m terrified to want.
“I hate this,” I whisper, voice cracking. “I feel so awful… and I can’t stop crying. I don’t even know why I’m crying.”
Brookes’s hand moves to my lower back. “Hormones are a bitch, sweetheart. Our cousin Jemma was sick as a dog with her first. Could barely keep anything down for weeks.”
Mason nods. “She figured out a few things that helped. Cool ginger tea in the morning through a straw before you even sit up. Those little sea-sickness bands on your wrists. Eating a couple of crackers before your feet hit the floor. She swore by protein snacks at night, too.”
Brookes gently wipes my face with the cool cloth. “We’ll get whatever you need. Just tell us.”
I cry harder with ugly, hiccupping sobs that make my whole body shake. Brookes shifts closer and carefully pulls me back against his chest, unbothered that I’m a mess. “I don’t know how to do this,” I whisper against Brookes’s skin. “I’m so tired… and scared… and I feel like I’m drowning.”
“You’re not drowning,” Mason says firmly. “You’ve got two big, stubborn cowboys who aren’t going anywhere. We’re in this with you, Janey. All the way.”
Brookes presses a soft kiss to my temple. “One day at a time. Right now, you need to rest. Have you thought aboutwhat we said? Could you take some time off work? Give yourself a chance to breathe.”
I let out a shaky breath and nod slowly.
They’re right.
I’ve been trying to pretend everything is normal, but it isn’t.
Maybe it’s time I accept that I can’t handle this upheaval, and I need some time to deal with my emotions away from everyday life.
By the time the worst of the nausea finally passes, and I’m sipping small mouthfuls of water, the decision feels clear.
“I’m going to call my boss today,” I say quietly. “I have two weeks of vacation saved up. I think… I need to take it now.”
Mason’s hand strokes gently over my hair. “Good girl. That’s a smart move.”
Brookes nods in agreement. “And you’ll come stay with us?”
I look between them—these two strong, patient men crouched on my bathroom floor at five a.m., caring for me like I’m already their responsibility. It terrifies me how easy it is and how good they make me feel.
For the first time since those two pink lines appeared, the days ahead don’t feel muddled and confused. I can do this. I can take some time out to decide.
One night can turn into two weeks.
I know I’m deferring the inevitable. I know I’m using their welcoming offer to put off the truth that I’m going to have to face at some point.
But I need this now. I need them to help me keep myself together.
Who knows what’ll happen after that?
Chapter 11
Brookes
I watch the familiar landscape roll by as we turn onto the long dirt road leading home. Mason drives the truck ahead with most of Janey’s things, while I ride beside her in her car. Even though we’ve been talking most of the way, I can sense her nerves. Her hands keep shifting on the steering wheel, her thumbs brushing over the leather like she’s trying to smooth her thoughts flat.
I speak gently, giving her an honest picture of what she’s about to walk into.
“You’ll meet a couple of the ranch hands today,” I tell her. “They’re solid guys. They’ve already handled the morning dairy chores, so the barn should be quiet.” I glance over at her. “The house… well, it’s lived-in. We didn’t have time to clean before we left yesterday. I’m a little mortified about that, but I’d rather you see us as we really are.”
Janey glances over at me with a small smile. “I don’texpect perfection, Brookes.”
“Good.” I rub the back of my neck. “Because you won’t get it. We want you to see the real version of our life here. The good and the messy. If you’re ever going to consider staying with us, it has to be because you love the real thing, not some cleaned-up fantasy.”
She nods. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
