Lucas’s voice cut in from memory, low and firm.He’s your brother. Hug him. If I had a brother, I’d hug him until he couldn’t breathe.So, I tried. It was clumsy, all elbows and hesitation, my arms coming up too late and in the wrong place. Hoyt hissed in pain, and I froze, horror flooding me. My hands dropped as if I’d done something unforgivable because I had. I should have known not to touch him, given he looked so beaten up.
“Sorry, shit,” I said, letting go. “Didn’t mean?—”
“It’s fine,” he said, though his jaw was tight and he stared at me in what I imagined was horror, or could easily have been plain need—who the fuck knew after all this time. I’d clearly fucked up. So much for getting in touch with my feelings and being a new man like Lucas wanted.
Lucas had stepped out onto the porch behind me at some point. I felt him there without looking. Hoyt clocked him immediately, and I wondered what he saw. Lucas moved closer, a reassuring hand on the small of my back.
“This is my… this is Lucas… he’s the majority owner of the ranch now; Walter’s grandson.”
Hoyt extended a hand, and the two men shook. “Hoyt,” he said.
Lucas smiled, polite and open. “Hi, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Hoyt said, and he sounded curious. Now, I could fill in who Lucas was to me. I glanced right. Lucas had touched up his gloss, fluffed his hair from where I’d messed it up, and looked so damn cute and beautiful andmine. There was curiosity in Hoyt’s easy smile, but I wasn’t ready for this whole:this is my lover; yes, I’m queer; yes, Dad knows, and he lost his shit; yes, it still fucking hurts; and yes, I understand why you stayed away more than you think.
But no, none of that came out. Instead, I took Lucas’s hand and tugged him to my side, loving that he leaned onto me. “Actually, Lucas is my boyfriend,” I blurted.
“Oh,” Hoyt said, searching for more words and finding none, but at least he didn’t act horrified, but then, I remembered the day he left, the grown-up words Dad had thrown at him, implying he was a boy-lover, all the usual shit our dad came out with, so I guess maybe he was?
“I was expecting you sooner.” I changed the subject because, like him, I didn’t know what to say. Then, it hit me, should I have even said that? Had I upset Lucas? Had I crossed a line introducing him as my boyfriend? Was ‘boyfriend’ even a word that grown-up men used? I glanced at him again, but he didn’t seem pissed—in fact, he threw me a soft, supportive smile.
“Yeah. Should’ve texted.” Hoyt said. “Phone data’s tight, and the meds knock me out, so I’ve been pulling over a lot.” Hoyt’s gaze flicked around us. “Old man know I’m coming?”
“Nah.” I didn’t sugarcoat it or explain that Abel wasn’t in our old place. It was enough for me to focus on my big brother’s arrival. “You’re welcome here,” I said quickly.
“I won’t cause trouble.”
“That’s not?—”
“I’ll park the trailer by the hay barn. Out of sight, out of mind. Might run a cord for electric. Otherwise, he won’t even know I’m here.”
Tell him about Dad. Tell him that he’s not living here.
Then, tell him that Dad sometimes visits, causing shit.
Tell him that Dad’s dying a slow death filled with bitterness and hate.
It was all too much.
“We have a space for you in the house,” I said.
“I cleared a room out,” Lucas said brightly. “New mattress and drapes, green, which I hope you like, and new sheets, which is more than I got from Jesse when I arrived.” He was teasing, but I winced at the memory of what I’d left Lucas with, before I knew him, back when he was nothing but the man sent here to destroy my life.
“Nah. Trailer’s fine. The less time the old man and me share air, the better.”
I blinked at him. “No, not in our old house,” I corrected and thumbed behind me. “In this place.”
His eyes widened. “In the big house?” He spoke to Lucas next. “Thank you, Lucas, for offering space with you, but I’m not a guest that needs fancy,” he added.
“It’s my place now,” I blurted, and Hoyt frowned. “Walter left me some of the ranch, and the rest is Lucas’s and… Jesus, that’s a story for another day.”
“You own the house?”
“Not all of it, and some of the ranch. But yeah, you can stay here easy enough.”
He hesitated. “I’m used to being alone.”
I nodded, even though I hated that sentence more than anything he’d said so far. “Dad doesn’t live on the property anymore.”
