He goes back to frantically searching his car, and I take a moment to appreciate the sunset.
Liam was from the West Coast, and while leaving here to go with him had been hard, and the adjustment had felt impossible, there was nothing like a Southern Arizona sunset.
“It’s all the fucking dust in the air,” Liam had told me, then laughed and kissed the shit out of me. “It’s gorgeous, but probably full of valley fever.”
I knew I was supposed to care back then, but all that mattered was staring across the vast distance of absolutely nothing apart from saguaros breaking up the skyline and a few mountain ranges way off in the distance.
The only thing more gorgeous was when a storm rolled in, though those were few and far between. And the painfully dry air that made my lungs feel like they were cracking into pieces had me missing the East Coast like it was a severed limb.
It wasn’t hard to come back here after Liam died. He’d been the only thing worth living for on that side of the world, and though I hate admitting it, right before everything fell apart, I was trying to come up with a way to tell him I wanted to leave.
Not just him though.
Everything.
Endless summers, and our horrible little house that never got cool, and finding scorpions in my shoes and in the bathtub, and being a thousand fucking hours’ drive from anywhere worth going.
We talked about moving closer to Massachusetts a few times, and he was angry at me for wanting to choose my comfort over his.
I was angry at him because he refused to consider anything except concession a compromise.
And then the universe decided for the both of us that everything between us was going to be over. Permanently. With no way of walking it all back.
“Sorry,” Teddy says, dragging me out of my thoughts.
I offer a smile. “You’re fine. Understand me okay?”
“Yep. You’re good.”
He adjusts the magnet on the left side of his head, then swipes his hands on his jeans. He has soot spots on his skin, but Easton always tells me when there’s a fire, so I figure he was probably helping out with drills.
“You look upset,” he says after a long beat. His eyes are a little too keen sometimes, and he looks me up and down. “Bad day?”
“I had to deal with crow shit all over my front yard.”
“Sorry, can you say that again?” His brow furrows, and he leans in closer. I repeat myself exactly, and he snorts. “Crow shit. Yeah, that’s what I thought you said. North, right?”
I stare at him.
“He brought one of the birds with him to work today.”
What the fuck is wrong with this guy,seriously. “A crow? To a fire station?”
Teddy grins. “I mean, it’s a baby crow with a missing leg, and I think it imprinted on him or something. It’s kind of cute.”
I do my best to try and hide my expression because nothing North does should ever be considered cute. He’s a pain in the fucking ass and has been since the day I met him. Which was also the day I walked out of the bathroom completely unclothed because Easton was supposed to be at his training, and I had the house to myself.
Or so I thought.
Easton had given North his key to drop something off without telling me, and instead of using at least a courtesy knock, North let himself in. And that was the second I steppedinto the living room, stark fucking naked with a towel around my neck. Instead of running away, I was so shocked by the sight of this man that I froze with my dick out and mouth open.
My brain had turned to static.
And North just…smirked. He gave me a slow up-and-down look, and then in the most sarcastic tone I’ve ever heard in my life, he said, “Nice.”
I haven’t been able to look him in the eye since then, and although I do visit my brother at the station, I do everything in my power to avoid seeing his dickhead best friend.
“Is he here right now?” I ask.
