Burying my face against North’s chest, I breathe in the scent of him and let him rock me from side to side.
“You’re allowed to be happy,” he whispers.
“It feels like I’m cursed.”
“I know, but you aren’t. I promise.” He hesitates, and I can almost sense he’s holding something back. When I pull back, his grip on me goes tight. “Wait, just…let me…” He fumbles with his words, which isn’t like him. “I need to say something, and it’s easier if you’re not looking directly at me when I do.”
Oh god. Is this it?
Is he going to tell me that he has to choose his best friend? I would get it, of course. Easton really is a good guy and deserves loyalty. But I don’t understand why both things can’t happen? Why can’t North have us both?
He clears his throat. Oh god, here it comes.
“I love you.”
It takes a second for my brain to catch up with his words, and then my entire body freezes. If it weren’t for the fact that my lungs work with unconscious effort, I might have passed out because I can’t seem to make a single muscle work.
“I’m falling in love with you,” he goes on. “I know you love your brother, and you’ll do anything to make him happy, but please don’t leave me, okay? Not before you give us a chance. Please just…don’t.”
The way his voice shakes shatters me, and I move without thinking. I break his hold on me, but only to take him by the face and pull him into a kiss. We back up against the wall, and it gives a crack so loud, North rips his mouth away with a gasp. But it’s only to drag me out onto the lawn so the house doesn’t fall down around us.
He doesn’t break his grasp on me. His mouth doesn’t leave mine.
People are probably watching, but what the fuck do I care? Let them watch. Let them see that while I’ve been a complete disaster for years, someone still wants me.
And not just someone. A good someone. A perfect someone. And I didn’t have to twist myself into new shapes for him to see a man worth loving.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I finally manage once the kissing has slowed into gentle pecks. He has me pressed against the side of the porch that’s still sturdy, and he lets out a quiet sob at my answer. “I promise.”
I don’t say I love you. Not yet. The words are there. They’re lodged in my chest and desperate to be spoken, but I’m still a little bit of a coward. I’ve only ever said them to one person before who wasn’t family, and he fucking died.
I can’t take that risk with North. Not so soon.
For now, I’m going to do everything in my power to show him how I feel, and if this is right—if he’s willing to be patient—then it is meant to be.
“Are you sure? After everything…”
“I’m sure.” My words sound as desperate as I feel. North’s hands on me are the only thing keeping me grounded, and I don’t think I can take the anticipation much longer.
I wasn’t sure I would be able to get in the headspace for this, but the moment we got back to his place, I couldn’t keep my hands off him.
It started with slow, easy kisses as we curled up on the couch.
We ate dinner together, and he scraped the bowl clean before setting the dishes aside, and now he’s between my legs, kissing up my thighs, careful with where my legs are tender but not so careful that I feel like Easton was right.
He hitches one leg up over his shoulder and meets my gaze. “You know I might not be good at this, right?”
I move my hand to his cheek, thumb grazing his kiss-swollen lips. “You’ve been amazing so far. And I trust you.”
He swallows heavily, then goes back to staring at my dick like he’s starving for it.
Gripping the base, I press the head to his lips, and he kisses it, suckling the precome off the tip. I trace a line over his mouth with the head, and his pupils blow wide, his throat catching with his swallow.
“Fuck,” he whispers, his voice shaking. “I think I’m ready.”
I trace his lips with my finger, then gently pry his lips apart with my thumb on his chin. His lips open almost on instinct, and with a single push, I slide the head of my dick past his teeth and tongue. For a moment, we both freeze with his eyes lockedon mine, and then he closes his mouth around me and gently suckles as I rock forward.
“Jesus,” I gasp. The feeling of his mouth on me is so fucking much. It’s gorgeous. The feeling is lush and heavy, my body burning with lust. The need to grab him by the sides of the head and fuck his face is almost overwhelming, and it takes conscious effort not to do it.
