“You okay?” I ask, though I know the answer can’t be yes. I bury my fingers in his hair and hold him.
He takes a breath, but then his phone begins to ring, and he groans as he looks at the screen. “It’s Starr,” he says.
The sister they called to meet his mom at the hospital. I wave him off. “Go. I’ll wait here.”
He smudges a kiss to the side of my mouth before walking off, and I lean against the truck, dreaming of when we can finally crawl into bed.
“Where’s your cane?” Easton asks. I hadn’t heard him walk up, but then again, my focus is shit right now.
“At the house. We kind of left in a rush.” I open the truck door and rest my backside on the seat. “I’m fine though.”
He stares down at my slippered feet, then back up at my face. “The burns?”
I blink. “Is this seriously what you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” He throws his hands into the air, then shoves them into his pockets. It’s his tell. He’s nervous, and he wants to apologize, but he also doesn’t want to admit he was wrong. He’s been that way since we were young.
“Look, you don’t have to say anything.” I don’t have the capacity to hash shit out right now.
“Thanks,” he starts, then stops and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, okay? Like, really fucking sorry. I hate feeling left out, and it hurt my feelings, but this is not about me. I know that.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting. Easton’s an amazing person, but he’s always been crap at admitting when he’s wrong.
“It’s fine.”
“It isn’t. I was jealous,” he admits. “Not of North or anything. I promise I don’t have a thing for him. But I don’t know. I’ve been feeling lonely lately, and I took it out on you, which is terrible, considering you’ve been through hell and back, and all I want is for you to be happy.”
Crossing my arms, I stare at him for a long moment as I work through what I want to say. I really am too tired for all this,and I’m not even sure my words will make sense, but I want to try. I need him to know I’m so much better off now with North. “I wasn’t that happy before, you know? With Liam.”
“I know.” His words are barely audible.
“It feels so wrong to admit this, but I’m so much happier with North than I ever was with him. It feels like I’m betraying him, but I can’t help it.”
Easton cocks his head to the side, a few curls falling over his forehead. “I think you’re allowed to feel how you feel. And it’s harder because Liam died, and he’s not here to be able to move on and find the person who makes him this happy, so it’s going to suck. But I have to admit, I had no idea you would end up falling for the guy you fucking hated.”
I burst into laughter. It’s mostly stress and fatigue, but it’s also funny because it’s so true. I know now the feelings I had about North weren’t hate. They were something else—longing, frustration, yearning for something only he could give me, and I didn’t realize it yet.
And it was easy to call that hatred and move on with my day.
Now, I have to face the reality of what we are to each other and all the ways we hurt each other before.
“I was all twisted up inside. He made it better. And…”And I love him. I’m in love with him.But I’m not going to tell Easton that before I tell North.
Easton reaches over and sets his hand on my shoulder. “I’m happy for you both. You’re my favorite person in the whole world, and he’s my best friend. I wouldn’t trust either of you with anyone else.”
I reach out and pull Easton into a hug, which lingers only because I’m too damn tired to do anything else but sag against him. I need a good, long sleep, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen tonight.
Easton lets go a moment later, and then North appears, shoving his phone into his pocket. He looks tired, and his eyes are red, but his face isn’t as stormy as it was before. He walks up and slings his arm around Easton for a half hug, then crowds me back against the open truck door and kisses me.
“Gross,” Easton says after a long moment.
North pulls back and doesn’t look sorry at all. “Starr’s with my mom now. She’s being admitted for seventy-two hours, and Starr’s going to try and have that extended. They’re going to run some cognitive tests. They called in a neurologist to see her tomorrow. It might be something worse than just her weird mood swings.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He shakes his head and takes my chin, kissing me again. “It’s okay. The girls are grown up and can handle themselves. I might have to help with Meadow until she’s eighteen, but Westin and Starr are good, and maybe now I can let go a bit.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you, bud,” Easton says, his voice heavy with emotion. “You two get home and get some rest. Why don’t I bring you some coffee in the morning.”
