“Breathe,” Westin says.
I suck in air and let it out in a rush. “I just want this to be over with.”
We’re currently waiting on the results from her neurology appointment. The neurologist visited her a week ago, and Starr’s with her now while they talk about the results. My gut’s telling me it’s bad, but my gut has always been a little doom and gloom.
There’s a loud click, and the doors open, and Starr appears. She looks older, but that’s probably just me catastrophizing again. She’s in sweatpants and a ragged T-shirt, and she has her curls bunched up in a bun on the top of her head.
Her gaze rests on me first, and then she walks over and hugs Westin, then Henry, then kisses Meadow on her temple. Meadow doesn’t look up, but I can see she’s tense, and that tells me she’s listening.
“And you,” Starr says eventually. She hugs me so tight, it’s hard to breathe. “How did you do this for so many years?”
“It was hard, but I got by.” Taking a step back, I shove my hands into my pockets. “So?”
She rubs the tips of her fingers together, an old nervous habit I haven’t seen from her since she was a kid. “Okay, I might not have all this right, but it’s…” She puffs out a breath of air. “Substance-induced…persisting dementia.”
“Shit,” Westin blurts, the word shaky.
Starr doesn’t acknowledge her. “There’s other stuff too. The lesions on her brain have gotten bigger, which is causing her mood to get all wild. The doctors say medication can help with it, but they’re recommending a residential facility.”
“That sounds expensive,” I whisper.
Starr looks at me for a long moment. “Yeah. But you’re not going to pay for it. Mom’s coverage can take care of most of it, and I have some money saved up?—”
“No,” I tell her quickly. “You’re just barely getting started as an adult. You’re not going to bankrupt yourself for her.”
“I can help,” Henry says, using his crutches to pull himself to his feet.
I spin around to face him. “You’ve been put through enough?—”
Henry shakes his head, cutting me off. “I don’t think you realize what your sister means to me. And loving her makes all of you my family. I knew what I was getting into when she and I decided to make this a thing, so I know what I’m offering. I know what it means.”
It’s not worth it to argue. He’s a stubborn bastard and exactly who my sister needs.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I turn back to face Starr. “I’m going to sell my house.”
“Jesus, North. Don’t be such a fucking martyr all the goddamn time!” Starr says, sounding furious.
I hold up a hand. “I’m not. We can all work together to make sure she’s where she needs to be to stay safe, and I can get an apartment. My house is a piece of shit anyway, and I don’t have the time to do all the projects I need to make it livable.”
I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’ll miss the crows and my neighbors, but things are changing. I don’t know where Leo’s going, but he’s probably going to be leaving soon now that he’s got his money from the insurance. I overheard him telling Easton he wasn’t going to rebuild.
So what’s the point of staying if I can sell and make things easier for the girls?
“Will she see any of us?” I ask.
Starr glances down at her feet. “No. She doesn’t want Meadow to freak out, and I don’t think she’s going to be able to look you in the face for a while,” she says to Westin.
My sister’s jaw tightens, but it’s obvious she’s not going to argue.
Starr’s gaze finds mine. “She doesn’t want to face you either. She’s cognizant right now, and it’s making her remember all the shitty things she’s said over the years.”
I swallow against a tight throat. Maybe that’s for the best. At least for the moment. “Okay.”
Starr grabs my hand and squeezes. “Now’s also a good time to quit your job.”
I nearly choke on my own tongue. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You hate your job.”
