I wish he hadn’t said that. I want to feel free to touch and kiss North whenever I want. But maybe that’s not what he wants. My stomach sinks into my aching feet with the realization that I might be into this more than he is.
“Thanks, bud. See you later.” Easton hugs him for another moment, then leans down and kisses my forehead before strolling out the door.
Suddenly, the silence around us feels heavy.
“Water,” North says.
I take a long sip, and it feels very soothing against my dry throat. “How long is it going to feel like I’ve been taking bong rips all night?”
He bursts into laughter and flops down in the small space beside my feet. “It’s wild you know what bong rips feel like.”
My eyes narrow. “I experimented in college. It wasn’t for me.”
His eyes crinkle in the corners with his grin. “Well, I have no idea how long the dry throat thing lasts. I’ve only had to deal with smoke inhalation once, thanks to a bad mask seal, and it was only for a second.” His head tilts to the side, and his fingers fidget on the top of his thigh. “So. How are you?”
Small talk? Is he serious? I can’t find the words, so I offer him a silent shrug.
His brow dips. “Did I say something wrong?”
I take a breath, then very slowly shake my head. “No. This is just…”
“Yeah. I get it.” He folds his hands and puts them in his lap, then sighs loudly and drops them to the side. Then he folds them again. “Fuck.” The word is whisper quiet, which means I probably wasn’t supposed to hear it.
The tension in the room rises, and it’s awkward as fuck. How did we go from kissing each other’s faces off and him touching my dick to this? And why does it somehow feel like it was all my fault?
“Do you want me to go?” I can’t help but ask. If he says yes, it’ll gut me, but I’m not going to inflict myself on him if he doesn’t want me here. “Teddy offered me a place to stay, and?—”
“No! Fuck.” There’s an expression on his face I can’t quite read. It’s almost devastated, but…that’s not quite right. I wish I knew him better. I wish I had paid closer attention to him. “Leo…I’m scared.”
“Ofme?” My stomach twists.
He shakes his head, then stops and shrugs. “Not of you, but…of this. Of how much I want you, and that makes me feel like a giant asshole because you’re in pain, and?—”
Relief hits me like a tidal wave, and before I can think straight, words are tumbling past my lips. “Kiss me.”
His entire body freezes, and then he swallows thickly. “Kiss you?”
Fuck it. I didn’t really mean to say that, but I’m not taking it back now. Not when I want that more than anything. “Yes. I have been desperate to kiss you again without the fear of my brother walking in on us or a nurse ratting us out.” I hold my breath, waiting for him to say or do anything.
After a short forever, I watch his pretty pink tongue slide from right to left as he wets his lips. Then he stands up, turns, and immediately drops to his knees in front of me. Fuck, I would give anything to pull him into my lap, but I know it would hurt like hell.
It doesn’t matter though. He slides a palm up my chest, then curls his hand around my jaw and leans in. Before his lips meet mine, he pauses, and it takes me a second to realize why.
But then I remember he hasn’t done this much. He’s unsure of himself, and as much as I can tell he wants to take control, he doesn’t know how.
So for now, until he’s ready, I can do it. I move my hand to his jaw, then push my fingers into his hair, and he groans, leaning into my touch.
It’s like he’s starved for me.
His moans turn needy as his head tips closer to mine, and I gently draw him close until our lips are almost touching.
“Yes?” I whisper.
His answer comes in a breathy rush. “Yes.”
Kissing him feels like coming home. It’s grounding and settling in a way it’s never been for me before.
My toes curl in spite of the pain and the burns, and I tug on his hair, pulling him closer—closer, until his chest lands againstmine. His hands push into the cushions on either side of me, and he rips himself back, eyes a little wild, pupils huge.
