I smile to myself as the bell rings and I prepare for the next class.
A week later, I’m enjoying some much-needed downtime. Gage and I have been good about sharing at least one feeling with each other every day. I’m excited to report on our progress to Dr. Francine at our appointment next week.
Olivia:
Today I’m feeling safe and cozy cuddling with you on the couch
Gage pulls his buzzing phone from his pocket, looks at it, then turns to me. He raises his eyebrows. “Really, babe? I’m right here.”
I hide my face. “Itiskind of easier to text it to you, though.”
He pulls my hands down and cups my face. “However you need to talk to me, I’m here. I’m glad we’re talking. And I’m glad you feel safe with me.”
“And cozy,” I whisper.
“And cozy,” he agrees. He caresses his thumb across my cheek.
Sighing loudly, he pulls away and picks his phone up again. He types, and then my phone pings.
Gage:
Today I’m feeling frustrated by this whole “no-kissing” rule
I smirk and text back.
Olivia:
You wish your lips were on mine right now? We’d start out sweet and slow, then the tension would build …
Gage reads from his phone and groans loudly, his head collapsing onto the back of the couch. “You’re so mean.”
I giggle, but my teasing kind of backfired because now I’m struggling to keep my lips to myself, too. “Seriously, though, focusing on the nonphysical stuff right now will make us stronger for the future.”
He smooths a hand over my hair. “I know. And I’m committed to that. Besides,” he winks, “you’re worth the wait.”
Chapter thirty-eight
Gage
Thefirstthingwedo at our second counseling session is report back on our “homework” of communicating with each other about how we’re feeling.
“It was really helpful, actually,” Olivia says. “It’s hard for me to be vulnerable with other people but practicing a little bit every day has made me feel more comfortable.”
I shift in my seat on the couch, taking Olivia’s hand in mine. “I can see the difference, for sure.” I look at Olivia. “When I tell you I love you now, I know you believe me. And it meant a lot that you remembered your promise to take me to that fancy milkshake place for my birthday last week.”
I turn back to Dr. Francine. “On my end, I’d been struggling with … not with being able to tell Olivia how I feel in general but trusting that my feelings won’t overwhelm her or make her push me away. When Olivia shared last time about how much her feelings around her dyslexia were holding us back, I felt like I’d finally been given the Rosetta Stone to understand her better.”
It was a startling and achingly sad revelation. That she would think even for a second, never mind five years, that I wouldn’t want her because of her learning disability makes me furious, not at her, but at anyone in her past who ever put her down.
She’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more.
Dr. Francine nods. “Last time, we talked about what happened at graduation. Today, I’d like to get into what followed. When you talked at graduation, you both agreed to continue your friendship. What happened?”
It feels like she’s changing the subject, but I want to talk about this, too. As hard as it was when Olivia rejected me as her boyfriend, her ghosting me afterward is what hurt the most.
“We stopped being friends.” I chuckle humorlessly.
“And why is that?”
