Gage rubs the back of his neck. “Kind of. Maggie was talking about how it’s a tradition in her family for kids to come to camp here. Her ten-year-old son Duncan will be here for a week in July.”
I nod my head. Duncan and Callie are Gage and Annie’s brother and sister—the kids Maggie had after she got married about thirteen years ago, before I knew them.
“So anyway,” Gage continues, “I thought I’d come check it out, you know? Participate in the family tradition.”
“That’s really cool, Gage.”
We approach a wooden dock that juts out into the lake. Gage gestures to it, an unspoken question in his expression. I nod, and we walk to the edge of the dock and sit, our feet dangling over the edge above the water.
“How old is your little sister?” I ask.
“Callie’s eight.”
“She’s not coming to camp this summer?” Eight is the minimum age to be a camper at Camp Prairie Star.
“No. Maggie feels like she’s still too young. This is Duncan’s first year even.”
I swing my legs slowly, the edge of the dock digging into my thigh. “I’ve never met them. Duncan and Callie.”
Or Maggie either, for that matter. Whenever Annie sees Maggie, she usually goes to their house in Fort Worth. I think Maggie must have come to our high school and college graduations, but I don’t remember meeting her. Those days were such a blur, and I was celebrating with my own family.
I know Annie and Gage’s parents, Dawn and Ted, well of course. We were always at each other’s houses in middle and high school.
“I know.”
Reticence is not usually Gage’s style, at least it wasn’t back when we were kids. Maybe that’s changed in the last five years, but I doubt it. I think about how he worded his greatest fear during the activity: “never knowing who I really am.” Does he feel like he doesn’t know who he is because he was adopted? It’s not something that ever seems to bother Annie.
I study Gage’s face in profile. Despite the darkness, I’m close enough to see that the corners of his lips are turned down. He looks so serious, so unlike the Gage I remember.
Maybe he senses me watching him, because he lies back on the dock and focuses his attention on the night sky.
I lie down next to him, careful to settle far enough away that we don’t accidentally touch. I chuckle to myself. This is not where I expected to be, or who I expected to be with, when I got in my car to drive to camp this morning.
We lie in companionable silence, looking at the stars, listening to the cicadas chirping in the trees.
Gage shared a piece of his real struggles with me tonight. That was brave, considering how we left off after high school and that we’ve hardly spoken since. We were so close once, all three of us. There wasn’t anything we didn’t know about each other. Well, except for my feelings for Gage. I kept those a secret from both my best friends, for obvious reasons. Maybe he kept a secret or two from me, too.
I feel like it’s off-balance between us now, knowing that Gage shared something real while I’ve been joking around. Maybe I can be brave too.
“My biggest fear is actually being vulnerable,” I say quietly into the night sky.
Gage reaches over and takes my hand, intertwining our fingers. He squeezes. I take it as a friendly gesture, the same way I intended him to take my similar gesture earlier. Entertaining anything more than that makes things too complicated.
Before long, I pull my hand from Gage’s and haul myself up off the dock. “It’s been a long day.”
Gage hops to his feet, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Yeah.”
“Good night, Gage. See you tomorrow.”
“Good night, Olivia.”
Though still tentative, our truce seems promising. Maybe wecanbe friends again like Annie wants.
I let myself into the empty cabin. Nina must be off somewhere with her boyfriend. Or avoiding me.
I take a quick shower, change into pajamas, and brush my teeth. Burrowing into the blankets on the bottom bunk of my bed, I look around. I hate being alone at night. I’m not a fan of solitude in general, but at night the quiet is overwhelming.
I peel back the covers and jump out of bed to retrieve Panda from my duffel bag. Snuggling back into bed, I hide him under the blankets between my body and the wall.
