Maybe it’s selfishness that keeps me hanging around. Maybe it’s that when I’m with him, I remember all the best parts of myself. Maybe it’shim, his magnetic charisma that pulls me in and holds me in place.
Whatever the reason, instead of doing the right thing and retreating to my cabin alone after dinner, I ask Gage if he’d like to canoe with me at the lake.
He agrees with no hesitation.
Chapter fifteen
Olivia
Oncewe’reinthecenter of the lake, we stop paddling and let the canoe drift. Gage lays his paddle across the sides of the boat, holding it in the center like the lap bar on a roller coaster.
We relax in the canoe as the sun starts to set; the sky shifts from blue to pink and red and orange, silhouetting the trees until they appear black against the colorful sky. The air already feels cooler as the sun sinks low.
I think back on the first week of camp—the activities I led, how much fun everyone had, and the kids I met.
“You know what’s weird?” I ask.
“What?”
“Almost everyone this week called me Olivia instead of Delaney.”
Gage looks away. “Huh. I guess I’m a trendsetter.”
Before that super suspicious reaction, I figured Linda maybe got confused about which name I use and it caught on. Now, I’m questioning whether Gage had anything to do with it.
“Why do you look guilty?”
“Do I?” He shifts in his seat, keeping his eyes on the sunset over the trees.
“Should you?”
“Umm.”
“Gage,” I say sternly. “Look at me.”
He finally meets my gaze again. I give him my best no-nonsense look. He matches my expression for a beat but can’t stop the grin from spreading over his lips.
“You did something!” I accuse.
He shrugs. “Not really. All I really did was mention you a lot in conversation with the other staff and overemphasize your name. Your actual name.”
“Gage!” I groan. “There’s a reason I prefer to be called Delaney.”
“Ah. Well, then please share. What’s the reason?”
I hesitate. The real reason is that I didn’t want to be “Stupid Olivia” anymore. I decided to reinvent myself heading into high school. No one would notice my shortcomings in the classroom if I dominated on the soccer pitch and my popularity made everyone want to be my friend. So I became cool, fun Delaney. But it still wasn’t enough.
He reads my reluctance to share as reticence. “You’ve got nothing, do you? And ‘Olivia’ suits you. I never understood why you wanted to change something that was already perfect.”
I scoff. “Nothing about me is perfect.” I pause, deciding to share part of the truth. “You want to know why? Fine. Heading into high school, I wanted to differentiate myself. From my sisters, who the teachers all remembered and then expected me to be just like, and also from who I was before. I wanted to be … fun.”
Gage tilts his head, as if trying to figure me out. “You’ve always been fun. You still are. I had an amazing time with you today.”
“It was a good day,” I agree.
He doesn’t need to know how I’m filing away each and every moment from this day together to pull out and relive after this summer is over and we go back to living our separate lives again.
We row back to shore in the postsunset twilight and pull the canoe up the bank and out of the water. I leave Gage on the shore as I put the life vests and oars back in the boathouse.
