Alicia: Like an anxiety induced hallucination sort of thing?
Me: I think so.
Alicia: Dark.
Me: Yeah. . .
Alicia: Are you overthinking that this not-a-sighting happened on the way to your little sister’s wedding?
Me: You know me too well.
Alicia: It probably has more to do with you entering your ovulatory phase in your cycle.
Me: Youreallyknow me too well.
The strange man gave me a jump scare again after boarding. When the curtain to first class shifted open right before takeoff and revealedhis forearm and hand. The dusting of sandy brown hair, and long graceful fingers. The memory of those hands roaming over my skin, a thumb just like that brushing my lips, delving inside of me and making me writhe.
That glimpse completely ruined my plan to sleep en route. Instead, I twitched every time anything moved toward the front of the plane. Had I heard him ask for a water from the flight attendant? But that was ridiculous because planes were noisy and I was nowhere near that man. I was making things up out of paranoia, not actually tuning into the sound of his voice, because part of me missed him.
And, yes, I was ovulating.
I was on high alert after we landed in San Diego. It got even worse after an automated “Out of Office” email popped into my email inbox from Fuckboy Lawyer.
It’s coincidence, I told myself.Calm down, he can be out of the office the same day I am and not have been on the same flight.
I herded toward baggage claim with everyone else from my flight. I scanned my surroundings like a prey animal, ready to dart at confirmation that it was him. It wasn’t that we’d ended on bad terms. I just had to ghost him out of self-preservation. Or I would get caught in our pattern of, like last night, he would text something nerdy, and we’d send increasingly flirty remarks from there. Then we’d meet up for drinks—definitely not a date. Incredible casual sex, followed by radio silence.
But the real problem was all the other stuff. Jamison was smart and funny, and super sweet at times. If it was just sex, I’d be fine. But I had unfortunate feelings for him.
Feelings I had expressed.
Feelings that were not reciprocated.
I was just standing after rearranging my carry-on. During the flight the perfect Tetris-like fit had been disturbed and the zipper wouldn’t close fully until I got it just right.
I was pretty sure that my suitcase was taking its second turn around the carousel by the time I got everything settled and closed up, when a high-pitched sound snapped my attention to a large, fast-moving object headed right for me. I flinched to run away just in time to recognize the object was my very excited sister. June wrapped me in a very tight hug, squeezing my arms to my sides.
“You’re here!” she said into my hair.
I slithered my arms free one at a time to return her embrace, partially because I missed her, and partially because she was now my source of balance.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, peeling back to look at her. “I told you to sleep in.”
She rolled her eyes, the familiarity of the gesture warming my heart. “As if I could.”
Pulling me close, she tucked my head into her neck. She was taller than me, but not by much, and my spine was in a weird position.
“I see you’re sticking with the weightlifting.” I shifted to find a little bit of comfort. “You’re squishing me.”
“You’re a good squish.”
I snorted.
She breathed in deeply, nuzzling her nose into my hair. “What deodorant do you use? I’m really impressed how much you don’t stink.”
“I bathed before getting on the flight.”
“Yeah, but I always feel like I stink by the time we land.”
