“How was the rest of your day?” Mom asked. She was finishing her drink before joining Sadie and June’s mom for some shopping.
“The day was fine.”
“You had that dance class, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How was it?”
“Good.”
“Was it nice to get to know Sarah better?”
“Sadie, Mom.”
“Right. Gosh darnit.”
“I did learn a couple things about her.”
“She’s seems like a nice girl.”
I pulled in a deep breath through my nose, and swallowed. “She is.”
“Is there something on your mind, Gene?”
“Hmm?” I raised my brows.
She narrowed her eyes, considering me. “Are you alright?”
“Sure, why?”
“You seem distracted.”
Running my index finger up my nose, I went to push my glasses only to remember I’d put in my contacts, the humidity was making my lenses fog up too much. “I’m alright.”
“You know you can talk to me.” She had said those same words to me so many times in my life; if she were a toy with a pull string, that would be one of her phrases.
Like a dutiful son, I nodded, while knowing my preoccupying thoughts would be the most awkward conversation I could have with my mother. In my mind, memories of the last night I’d spent with Sadie played. I wish I had known it would be the last time. I would have committed more to memory—noticed more. Given her a real kiss goodbye instead of...how did I leave?
I couldn’t even remember.
It was harder to get her off that night—which was fine, I liked a challenge. Had she been thinking about the other guy?
I covered my mouth with my fists leaning my elbows on the tabletop, my stomach suddenly roiling. The idea that she might have wanted someone else while I was inside her filled me with a rush of emotions that pummeled into one another. They swirled and mixed until the rage, jealousy, and hurt were intertwined and inseparable. A sludgy brown-gray simmering in my gut.
“That work for you?” Mom asked, pulling my attention back to the present.
“What?”
Tilting her head, she glanced down at my hands fisted so tightly my knuckles were white. “Son, are you okay?”
“I am,” I lied. “What’d you say?”
She narrowed her eyes at me as if she was considering pushing the issue but then shook her head. “I’m gonna head out. Mike just texted that they’re on their way to meet you. I was just asking if you’re good to wait alone.”
“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Mom left, and I resisted the urge to go to the bathroom to check my hair and outfit. I didn’t even know if Sadie was on her way with Mike and June. Not that it would matter how I looked. She didn’t want me the way I wanted her—and if she did, we weren’t acting on attraction. Preening wouldn’t change that.
