“Go”—I nudged her shoulder with mine—”have fun. I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin. To herself, she said, “There’s no reason to be embarrassed.”
“None,” I agreed.
“Even if someone else saw my tits, who hasn’t seen tits before?”
“Hold on.”
“What?”
“Your tits”—I ran a hand through my hair, and looked down at my shoes, unsure of how honest to be—”are a singular experience.”
“You don’t have to flatter me, I’m not as humiliated as I was a few minutes ago.”
“Trust me, it’s not flattery. You’re so fucking beautiful, I almost can’t handle it.”
With that admission, I turned on my heels and left before she could say anything else.
Chapter 12
Sadie
“What do you think of Derrik?” June asked, crossing her arms on the tabletop and leaning forward.
He and Mike had wandered off to see if they could get a pool table. It was clear that she’d been dying for an opportunity to talk to me alone. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why. It had been almost two hours since the whole wardrobe malfunction, and I’d been distracted ever since. Then, of course, before that I’d been distracted by Jamison looming all broad-chested and broody near my shoulder.
How was I supposed to carry on a conversation when he was so...within touching distance?
And then, his parting words.
“I almost can’t handle it.”What did he mean by that? This whole journey of finding my purpose was supposed to center what I wanted, but still the haunting intensity in his brown eyes was enough to send a shiver down my spine. If whatIwanted was something I could have,shouldn’t I have it? Or was that more of the thinking that had gotten my heartbroken by an oblivious man?
It was.
But also, now that I knew, I could adjust accordingly. When he said everything between us was casual, I would take him at face value and not believe him to be secretly harboring any feelings for me. Which obviously relied heavily on me separating my emotions fully from sex.
“What do you think of Derrik?”Was she kidding me? Nothing. I don’t think of anything anymore.
“He seems nice,” I said.
“He is, and he’s, like, super cute, right?”
I nodded. He was objectively cute with gold speckled green eyes and an easy smile. Clearly, he worked out. Maybe if I wasn’t struggling with an obsession of the toxic variety, I’d be more interested in the fact that he only lived an hour south of Chicago.
“I wasn’t trying to like, hook you up with someone or whatever, but I am so happy to see you hit it off with Derrik and...not Gene.” She swiped at the air as if clearing away smoke. “I love Gene. He’s a really great brother to Mike, and friend to me. He’s an incredible son. But I feel like...he’s a bit more of what you’ve had. Ya know?”
I kept nodding.
I did know.
“Not that you’re looking for anything,” she went on. “I know you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I think it’s a great idea to take some time and decide what you really want. Focus on you. But it’s fun to flirt with boys. Anyway, I’m happy to see you flirting with Derrik. I think he’s the safer option.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m flirting with him.”
