“Sadie, Mom,” he corrected.
I hugged her back. “It’s okay, you’ll get it eventually.”
“I will, my dear. I promise.”
***
Sally and her brother-in-law, Derrik’s dad, had rented a tent on the beach for the rehearsal dinner. The resort had set up a long table with a white tablecloth and wooden folding chairs for us to eat the pizzas being served. It was one of the biggest tents, but we still had to squeeze in a bit to make room for our whole party under the red-and-white striped canvas. Jamison kept using it as an excuse to brush his arm or shoulder against me, shooting a shower of electricity through my body every time.
June laughed and joked around with the couple of friends that had traveled to celebrate with her and Mike, but she wouldn’t really look at me and only gave brief responses when I tried to talk to her.
Clearly she was pretty upset with me for being late. I wanted to feel defensive, but I mostly felt bad. I hadn’t realized how frazzled her nerves were or that Jamison and I had taken so much time fucking around.
I didn’t want to add to her stress.
A little reassurance on my part that I was locked in from here on out, and I was certain that we’d be cool again.
Everyone was on their second or third beverage and slice when Jamison and Mike’s uncle stood. He was a large man in his late sixties with a head of gray hair, and brown eyes like Jamison’s. “Hello everyone, I’m Bill. Michael asked me to say a few words about his dad, my brother, Gene.”
My ears stopped working for just a moment at hearing their dad’s name. Instead, I remembered two days ago, when I took every opportunity to snarl the name at Jamison. Every time I sensed the way it jabbed him, and every time I enjoyed it. No wonder he hadn’t liked me saying it. No wonder it was such a soft spot.
From his place next to me, he must have inferred the direction of my thoughts. Under the table, he placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed. He whispered a barely audible, “It’s okay,” in my ear.
But it didn’t feel okay. It felt incredibly fucking mean.
I added it to the list of apologies I’d have to make as soon as dinner was over.
“Gene was,” their uncle went on, “so proud of you boys. But for those of you who didn’t have the honor of knowing this kid when he was little, Mike had a wild streak. If there was something high to jump off of, he was gonna do it. Scared your dad out of his mind. He’d always say, ‘That one is fearless.’ You still are. And that’s how you love June.”
His jaw clenched tight. “Your dad might not be here. But I promise you, son”—Mike swallowed hard, his cheeks reddening, and June looked at him with the sweetest admiration—”he is so proud.”
With a bit more rasp than his voice started out with, he held up his beer. “Raise your glasses, and cheers to my brother’s youngest boy,Mike, and the beautiful bride, June. May they be as madly in love as Sally and Gene.”
Next to him, Sally took a sip of her wine while attempting to discreetly wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“To Mike and June,” everyone chorused before lifting their glasses to their lips.
General murmurs started up within the group, enough that I could quietly ask Jamison, “Are you okay?”
He nodded, but there was a heavy weight behind his eyes that was too deep for me to help him carry. Maybe someday he’d share it with me.
Chapter 22
Jamison
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” June took hold of Sadie’s elbow and didn’t wait for a response before pulling her toward the water.
The waitstaff were cleaning up the tent, folding the chairs and clearing off the table. Derrik had wandered off for the night-club with a group of Mike and June’s friends that had made the trip for their wedding. It had gotten significantly quieter after they left. Our sets of parents had called it a night. Mom and Uncle Bill lingered in their goodbye’s to me and Mike, both of them clearly needing to talk about Dad. Remembering him throughout the night had left me feeling both comforted and at the edge of my emotions.
It would be a relief to go to my room and hold Sadie. Let the beat of her heart be the rhythm to quiet the thunderous noises in my mind. Keeping up the pretense that we were nearly strangers and not at the beginning stages of a relationship was a challenge. One I failed at in the moments I was sure we wouldn’t be noticed.
I overheard Sadie say, “I’m sorry I was late—” and June’s interruption, “I could not give a shit right now,” as they rushed past me and out of the tent.
At my side, Mike considered me out of the corner of his eye.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
He sighed. “You tell me.”
