“What the hell is the deal?” I asked, following her down the front stairs.
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you would talk about yourself even a little bit,” she said, looking straight ahead, ignoring that I was at her side.
“What mess are we in, exactly? Your sister and my brother have been talking about wanting the four of us to hang out for...months? Years? I don’t know, a long time.”
“Are you this oblivious?” She stopped again, this time standing so close to me that her breasts brushed my chest when she breathed in. Between that and the angry purse of her lips, I was even more off balance. I was once again blindsided by her, but this time it was in a way I was used to. The round curve of her cheek, the crystal-like blue of her eyes lined in dark eyelashes, and the full pout of her lips completely disarmed me.
I swallowed, my jaw set. “Apparently. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
“How would you explain our . . . involvement?”
“We’re work colleagues.”
“And when there are follow-up questions?”
“We’ll answer them?”
She huffed—it was less adorable than usual. “You know what, I just don’t want to tell them.”
I shifted the leather strap of my duffle bag and gestured for her to keep walking. I waited until she was eight feet or so in front of me before continuing down the walk to our building. She held her head high and her shoulders back as she marched ahead. She was clearlytrying to avoid me, and the idea of being around her was not very appealing to me either.
Around us, other guests strolled by or gathered on the patio seating in the different areas of the courtyard. The waves crashing on the rocky shore grew louder as we got closer to our building.
Finally, she entered our building a few moments before I did. I almost bumped into her as she stood a few feet inside looking around to figure out which way she should go, but I sidestepped to the elevator remembering the directions the front desk had given me. I entered the car and pushed the button for the top floor. The doors were sliding closed when she put her hand between them and walked in as if I had zero effect on her.
She lifted her finger to push a button before it fell back to her side hitting her leg with a slap.
“Same floor,” I observed.
“Yup,” she said adding a few syllables and ending with a poppingPsound.
I yawned, covering my mouth with my fist—a few seconds later Sadie did the same. I almost launched into an explanation about how yawns were contagious because of empathy. But it was very much not the right time.
Or maybe she was just as tired as I was.
The exhaustion was deep. Something heavier than just physical. Something even if I found words to explain, I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone. Just a weight I wore on my shoulders at all times. It was probably my brother’s wedding that made it feel heavier. It probably had nothing to do with Sadie. Or the fact, when I first saw her I’d felt something like relief only to have a new, even more uncomfortable and more confusing, pressure land on my chest.
It wasn’t anything I couldn’t tolerate.
We walked side-by-side and completely alone to the end of the hall. Olive green wainscotting lined the bottom half of the walls with a paisley patterned wallpaper on the top half of the wall and carpet. It was a bit dark and intense, like a Brontë novel.
Sadie stopped at the door just before mine. Her exterior wall would look down at the pool, while my room had two exterior walls—one facing the pool and one directed out to the sea and the rocky shore below. The view was something I was looking forward to, and I would have offered for Sadie to join me for coffee or a glass of wine on my balcony, but there was no point.
The sinking in my stomach would feel better once I got inside, showered, and maybe took a quick nap.
Sadie disappeared into her room without another word.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to pretend we were strangers.
Chapter 4
Sadie
“So, Sarah—” Jamison’s mom, Sally, began, but I interrupted her.
“Sadie,” I corrected. It was the second correction, and it would be my last. It wasn’t personal, though. June had explained that Sally had a great mind for details and numbers, but not people. June complained for months about being called Julie, and Sally had loved June from the moment she met her. It wasn’t like I was going to have a lasting relationship with Sally, I could go by Sarah for a few days.
“Yes, of course.” She smiled an apology. Her shoulders crept toward her ears, and a pink warmed the balls of her cheeks. “I will remember, eventually. Please, don’t give up on me.”
