‘I was watching you,’ he says quietly. ‘With Teddy.’
I frown. ‘Okay?’
His jaw flexes. ‘And I guess I got jealous.’
‘You what?’ A nervous laugh bubbles out of me. ‘Asher, come on. You have no reason to be jealous of me and Teddy. He’s yourbrother.’
‘I know,’ he says quickly. He takes a few steps closer to me. ‘And I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘Then how did you mean it?’
He hesitates for a second or two, then seems to deflate a little as the truth comes out. ‘I wasn’t jealous because I thought you liked him. I was jealous because he gets to be around you like that. Because he gets to stand next to you,make you laugh, touch your arm, look at you without anyone whispering about it. He gets to be friendly with you. And I—’ He huffs out a dark laugh and my heart trips over itself. ‘And I can’t,’ he continues softly, closing the last few inches of space between us. ‘I have to pretend like I can’t stand the sight of you, when all I want is—’
He stops himself and I realise I’ve been holding my breath.
‘All I want is to stand beside you like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I want to make you laugh. I want to be the reason your face lights up the way it does when you smile. I want that privilege, and if I ever got it, I’d never take it for granted.’
The corridor we’re standing in suddenly feels too small for both of us.
‘Asher,’ I start, but my voice comes out like a croak. ‘You don’t… Youcan’t…’
‘I mean it,’ he says softly. ‘I’m tired of pretending. Of acting like I don’t want you when every time you walk into a room, I forget to breathe.’
My heart feels like it’s trying to burst free from my chest.
‘I want to be the one who gets to stand beside you, Imani,’ he says quietly. ‘Not because I’ve been told to by my father. Not for a deal. Not for a stupid social media gossip page. But just because I can’t imaginenotbeing near you.’
Something inside me splinters. For a moment, I let myself want it: the way his voice drops when he says my name, the way he looks at me like I’m something sacred. I want to reach for him. I very nearly do.
But then reality slams back into place and I remember where we are. I remember how much is riding on this.
I take a shaky step back. ‘You can’t say things like that.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because,’ I splutter, my mind racing.
‘That’s not a reason.’ He closes the gap I just made between us. ‘Tell me, Imani. Tell me why I’m not allowed to be in—’
‘I want to choose it,’ I whisper, cutting him off before he can finish that sentence and upend my entire world. ‘If we ever do this, if I ever choose you, I don’t want it to be because we were forced into it just to help our fathers get a deal over the line. I want it to be my choice. On my terms. And right now, it’s not. Everything is aboutthemand if we were to do this, we’d just be their puppets. I don’t want that, Asher. As much as I—’ I swallow and shake my head, not willing to say aloud what I’m pretty sure he already knows.
Asher nods slowly, his eyes still locked onto mine. ‘Then I’ll wait,’ he says quietly. ‘Until it’s on your terms.’
My breath catches. ‘What does that even mean?’
‘It means,’ he says, voice rough and honest, ‘that I’ll stand on the sidelines if that’s what it takes. I’ll play my part, keep pretending that I can’t stand you, like there’s nothing between us but years of animosity, until you’re ready. Until you want this as much as I do. Until you feel like you can choose it.’
I swallow hard. My throat feels too tight, my chest too full. ‘Asher…’
He smiles faintly, but it’s soft, almost sad. ‘You don’t have to say anything,’ he murmurs. ‘I just needed you to know.’
And maybe it’s the way his voice dips, or the way he’s looking at me like he’s memorising my face, but my resolve crumbles.
My hand twitches at my side before I even realise what I’m doing. His fingers graze mine and although the touch is fleeting, it’s enough to send a current straight up my arm.
‘Asher…’ I whisper, though I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.
He takes another step closer until the heat of him fills the space between us. His gaze drops to my mouth, and I hold my breath.
