“At least she’ll be alive to hate you,” Suyai says, softly, from chapped lips crusted with blood. I look between Suyai and Yanami. Suyai, smiling softly at her own morbid words. Yanami was a restrained earthquake.
Then, Yanami stops shaking. She lets out a long breath and reaches for Suyai’s hand. This creature comfort, I understand. This need to hold, to possess.
I understand it until I feel the distinct sensation of mimicry in the air, a feeling I’ve only just come to know, yet could never forget. All those explanations from Suyai,the cursed power feels like suffocating, like your lungs filled with black tar, they’re nothing like how I feel mimicry. Electrifying and energizing.
The feeling of Condor’s stone feather shattering and filling the air with life.
Yanami must be healing her.
She must be.
Even though I know Yanami cannot heal well. Even though I know from Yanami’s white hair, she doesn’t have enough samay to perform mimicry. Even though Suyai looks like she’s getting worse. I have to believe Yanami is healing her. If she’s not, then that means–
“Get away from her!” I scream, pushing Yanami away by the shoulder, but the girl has turned to stone. She won’t move. I throw a punch, the angle awkward and inefficient, but the best I can do with Suyai’s weight on top of me. I don’t want to disturb her, but I have to stop–
“Yanami, please. Yanami, you have to stop,” I yell and yell. I use my feet to kick. I use my nails to dig into flesh. But Yanami won’t move, and I can’t hurt Suyai. Except Suyai is slowly turning pale, her hair turning white, her skin thinning, her weight dwindling–
“Please, Gods, Guardians, please,” I beg and beg.
My words don’t matter because we’re all crying, screaming, the world is a cacophony of pain. All of us except Suyai. Suyai is relaxing into me, nuzzling her face into my chest, a small, sad smile still on her lips. She’s comforting me.
She’s comforting me like I’m the one who’s–
“Please,” I say one last time, but I know nothing will change. Yanami’s tears soak Suyai’s clothes, and I don’t understand a single thing.
I’m crying until I’m not. Because I feel when Suyai’s heart stops beating. Her aching puffs of breath stop. She’s no longer moving, not screaming at me or crying for Mare. She’s limp in my arms.
She’s gone.
Yanami screams to the heavens. She howls, a sound filled with so much pain, and I don’t understand.
She did this herself.
Yanami did this. Yanami killed the last of Mare’s family. Yanami killed my best friend. Yanami drained her for what? For power? For greed? For pride?
My anger builds with every question, but it never crescendos because I know how to spot a lie, even when it’s coming from myself. I know Yanami wouldn’t do that.
But the questions remain.
Yanami beats a fist into her chest and then stands, her hair a black halo around her beautiful face. I realize, watching this creature stalk to the Aya Runa, that I’ve never seen her like this. She’s something new, short, pure, untainted hair framing her furious expression.
She steps up to the man on the cot.
She’s going to kill him. Except not a single Aya Runa member tries to stop her. She’d never work with them. She’d never hurt Suyai under their plans.
But I can’t deny what I see.
As my best friend lies motionless in my arms, the man in the cot begins to move. Yanami has her hand on the man’s bare chest. The samay pouring out of her, Suyai’s samay, and into him is indisputable. She can’t heal him when he has no wounds.
No, what he needs is pure life energy, and here Yanami is feeding it to him.
I think of what little of their conversation I caught.She’ll never forgive me. If I had the ability to speak, if I had the ability to do anything other than hold onto Suyai’s body and search for warmth, I would sayyou’re right. I’ll never forgive you.
Chapter 33
The pieces fall into place little by little and all at once. The man moves, he breathes, heavy, heaving breaths. His eyes don’t open, but his mouth does as if trying to form words.
I stay on the ground. Suyai stays on my lap, unmoving. Mare remains unconscious next to us. I’m surrounded by stillness.
