The empire, expecting a hero.
Mare, saying my name in reverence.
You, giving up everything for me.
And my mother, my mother, my mother.
“You know who,” I say. My voice is low, not like a whisper or a sob, but a growl.
“I want you to say it.” Even at her most hostile, Suyai is controlled and mature.
“Why?”Why. Why. Why.
“Say it, Sinchinrei.” Suyai doesn’t scream. She doesn’t erupt.
But I do.
“Everyone, Suyai. Okay?” I shout. “You want me to admit it. I will. I need to show every single person out there that I’m here. I’m here in the palace, and I’m strong enough to protect our empire if they’ll only let me. If she lets me, I’ll do it.”
I don’t know whichsheI’m referring to.
I collapse into Suyai’s waiting arms. She holds me tight as I rest my forehead on her shoulder then turn my head to press my face into her neck. With my eyes closed, I can focus on the warmth of her skin and the strength of her heartbeat. I whisper my next words into her skin.
“I’ll be good enough this time, and everyone will see it.”
In the dark, Suyai combs her fingers through my hair with one hand while the other squeezes my waist. She takes a deep breath and tightens her grip. I feel every one of her fingers digging into my waist like she’s trying to claw through and tear me apart. I feel every one of her fingers caressing my head like she’s scared one errant show of force will crack me open.
“You’re more than enough, Rei,” I feel the words vibrate in her throat. “I see it. I see you.”
That’s what I need to prove to them, that I’m the person you see. The one you love.
I stay silent. Suyai sighs after a few seconds of no response. She guides me to the bed with a softcome on, pushing me away so I can walk next to her but never letting go. We fumble into bed like that, her hand on my waist.
“Stay?” I ask. In the dark, I only see her outline. We’re both on our sides, facing each other, but no amount of proximity can fight the darkness.
She hums in response, and that assurance is all I need to drift to sleep.
The ceremonial debutbetween the princess and me will be a ritual that’s more art than combat before starting our tour of the provinces. For the next few weeks, we’ll stop by strategic towns to show off the strength of the empire on our way toLake Titicaca. Soldiers are preparing our rations now, llamas are being saddled with goods, and Chaskis have begun to run the road ahead of time to inform the upcoming towns of our arrival. We should reach Lake Titicaca, the famed origin point of the first Inka, in 30 days. Then, the princess and I alone will be expected to get to Isla del Sol, raising the mythical island with a burst of samay. A burst the princess will have to deliver because I can’t.
It will be up to me to pass the trial on the island and retrieve the Sun Staff.
Then it will be up to the princess to kill me.
I shake my head. I can’t think like that.
What I need to think about is this moment. The ceremonial battle. My debut as the Guardians’ Hero to the most important people of the empire. That’s why the princess’s tutor is standing in front of me. I’m meant to be practicing the battle with the princess right now.
But the princess isn’t here yet.
Suyai is positioned at the east wall of the training grounds. It’s only a guard at her side. Her words feel truer than ever –collateral.
Since she joined me on the way to the trading grounds, we haven’t been able to do more than trade glances. I was picked up from my room by a servant girl, while she was being tailed by the armed guard who stands next to her now.The armed guard. The threat might as well have been explicitly stated.
So far, it has been enough to keep me in line. Not because of the threat, but because of Suyai’s cutting glare whenever I open my mouth. The Inka played it smart having her here, though she probably doesn’t know why.
I want to ask where the princess is. It was easier to keep her out of my mind at night, with Suyai curled around me and the knowledge that she was asleep somewhere in the palace as well.But now, the sun shines, and the world is awake, and I don’t know what could be happening to her.
My right hand itches with the need to curl around a weapon and attack. I need the Sun Staff, and I need us to get on with it – with fate, with my legacy. I can’t do anything until all these pompous rituals are over, but something in me hums with impending action.
