Austin re-examined the past few weeks at Tristan’s estate, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt the uncomfortable, irresistible pull of Connor in the distance.
“Being rejected from court can be painful,” Tristan said. “I’m sorry you had to endure that.”
“That’s why I’ve been able to calm down so fast.” The realisation landed strangely. He still got upset, but he hadn’t been triggered into lows that lasted weeks. It passed, and quickly. His brow creased. “When you say it can be painful, do you mean emotionally or physically?”
“It sounds like you experienced unpleasant physical reactions to it,” Tristan said. There was an odd note in his voice, and this one Austin could pin down far better than his strange shades of happy. Anger.
Austin tensed. “It isn’t my fault I felt that way. If I could havenotfelt like that, you don’t think I would have? I had no control over—put me down! It isn’t my fault! There was nobody else like me, just him, and—”
“Of course it isn’t your fault. I did not say that, did I?” Tristan soothed. “I did not mean to imply such a thing either.”
“Put me down.”
Tristan carefully placed Austin onto the sand. The gale weaponised the rain, and with an unhappy sound, Tristan kneltbeside him, shielding some of him from the strikes. He studied Austin’s face carefully.
Austin glared. “Your tone said enough.”
Understanding filled Tristan’s eyes. “My anger is not with you, but with your former court. Allowances should have been made if your reaction to losing it was so painful.” His eyes slid over Austin as he tucked his tail up, wrapping his arms around the shining limb. A glint of anger grew in his eyes once more. “It was cruel and negligent to have left you stuck in a bond you did not have the means to shake free of.”
Austin’s grip on his tail tightened. “I never told him. I’m sure your men told you what Laurence said earlier. Accusing me of being obsessed with Connor, and not being able to let him go. Saying I kidnapped Kit to threaten Connor into taking me back.” He swallowed hard. “Theyhateme. I’m always the villain.” Gary flashed in his mind. A boy ruined.
Austin shut his mouth as a low, agitated growl rumbled out of Tristan.
“They are fools.”
Austin tensed, and Tristan bowed, cupping his hands over Austin’s.
“My anger is not at you. I am sorry. I will get control of myself.”
Tristan’s breaths steadied.
“You are no villain. You developed in a situation where your powers manifested as defensive in nature. Self-preservation is no sin—it is something even Hal does not punish. Nor does he put citizens on trial simply for being what they are. You are a powerful merman, and that is no sin either.”
“It is what I dowith it that is the problem.”
“I gave over my estate to you to do with as you wished. What servants did you whip? What fortune did you spoil? Whatman did you enslave with your voice? Even when you first arrived here and did not feel safe, you harmed no one.”
“Earlier today I hurt everyone with my voice.”
“You did not do so on purpose.”
That was true, but—“I still hurt them!”
Tristan didn’t yield. “I will not condemn you as guilty for something you do unintentionally when you’re upset. Especially when the harm seems to wound you far more deeply than it wounded them.”
Austin bristled. He released his tail, straightening his spine.
“I told Reba he’s only allowed to eat food prepared on the beach until he learns how to fly.”
Tristan looked downright puzzled. “I…see?”
Austin scowled. “You know he had to watch Lassie cook for a year before he trusted to eat what she prepared when he wasn’t looking?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Because where he grew up was filthy, and the food would be tainted.”
“I see.”
