Because he's right.
I said it. I can't take it back. And no matter how I try to explain it, the fact remains: I'm leaving.
"I have to go back," I say finally, and my voice is barely above a whisper. "I have to handle things. The film, the contracts, all of it. I can't just?—"
"I know." He cuts me off, and the defeat in his voice is worse than any anger could be. "I know you do."
He takes a breath, and I watch him physically pull himself together. I watch the hurt get tucked away behind careful neutrality and watch the walls go back up, one by one.
CHAPTER 37
ONE STEP FORWARD, SIX STEPS BACK
NATE
I haveto go back to LA.
Not "I want to." Not "I should."
Have to.
If I look at her right now, she'll see everything I'm trying to hold back.
"Okay," I say, and my voice comes out quieter than I intend. "When?"
"Tomorrow. Maybe the day after. I need to... there are things I need to handle?—"
"Yeah. No, I get it."
I do get it. Logically, I understand.
She has responsibilities in LA. Things that can't just be abandoned because we spent one night together and I told her I loved her. But understanding doesn't make it hurt less.
"Nate—"
"It's fine, Nora. Really." I force myself to look at her, to keep my expression neutral. "You have to take care of your life. I get that."
She's watching me with those green eyes that see too much, and I can tell she knows I'm not fine. That I'm anything but fine.
"How long?" I ask, and I hate how small my voice sounds. How defeated.
"I don't know. A few weeks? Maybe a month? I have to sort everything out, figure out what’s going to happen now that Wes and I are not together. Not just with the film but what I'm keeping, what I'm?—"
"A month."
A month ago, I didn't know if I'd ever see her again. Didn't know if she'd come back to Eden, if we'd get another chance, if the door we'd closed seven years ago would ever open.
And now—now I've had her back. Had her in my arms, in my bed, telling me she was mine, her body wrapped around mine like she never wanted to let go.
And she's leaving.
My chest feels fucking hollow like something vital just got ripped out.
"Okay," I say again, because what else can I say?
Don't go?
Stay here with me?
