It's standing in the wreckage of your own heart and still believing they deserve the world, even if that world doesn't include you.
She'll get on a plane back to LA, and I'll be here.
Right where I've always been.
Waiting in the space between sometimes and maybe.
Hoping that this time—finally, after all these years—maybe will become always.
CHAPTER 38
EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY
NORA
The cemetery isquiet in the way only graveyards can be—not peaceful, exactly, but separate. As if the world outside the gates operates on a different frequency, one that can't quite penetrate the stillness here.
I stand in front of Alfie's grave, fresh flowers already placed at the headstone.
Someone's been here recently.
"Hey, Alfie," I say softly, feeling foolish talking to a headstone but doing it anyway. "I hope you don't mind me stopping by. I know you'd probably tell me I'm overthinking everything. That I'm making it more complicated than it needs to be."
The wind rustles through the trees overhead.
"I'm leaving today. Going back to LA. And I don't know if I'm making the right choice or the biggest mistake of my life."
My throat tightens. My hands clench at my sides.
"Nate told me to go. To figure out what I want. But what if what I want is impossible? What if I can't have both?"
Silence.
"You always knew what to say," I continue, and my voice breaks. "You always had this way of cutting through all mybullshit and just showing me what I needed even when I couldn't see it myself."
"He'd probably tell you that the people worth keeping are the ones worth coming back to."
I spin around.
My heart jumps into my throat.
Nick is standing a few feet away, holding another bouquet of flowers—simpler than the ones already at the grave.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He moves closer, kneels down, and carefully removes the older flowers, replacing them with the fresh ones. "I come by every few days. Make sure he's got something new to look at."
His movements are careful and reverent.
“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to see him before I leave.”
“Your Mom said you were heading back to LA.”
“Yeah, my flight leaves in a few hours.”
I stare at Alfie’s name on the headstone.
"I miss him," I say quietly.
"Me too." Nick is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. "But I don't think people ever really die. Physically, yes. But they exist through us. Alfie always said death is just a transition. I think I finally understand what he meant after all these years.”
