PROLOGUE- LILY
Claire,
By the time you read this, I’ll already be gone. I beg of you—don’t look for me. If you do, it will only cause problems for all of us.
I cannot remain here and wait for a brother who may never be coming home. It pains me to say it, but we don’t know if William is even still alive. I cannot wait any longer. I cannot do nothing—not when I might be able to dosomething.
I didn’t tell you beforehand because I knew you’d talk me out of it. I am frightened, truth be told, but I believe I’m doing what’s right.
I’ve adopted a false name and forged letters of reference in order to take a governess position in the countryside. The family is reputable—and no one our family knows. I promise that I’ll be safe.
I will send money as soon as I’m able. Give my love to our sisters.
Love,
Lily
P.S. You may tellthem I’ve gone to visit Great Aunt Lucinda, if that helps.
CHAPTER 1- LILY
After dithering in front of the polished door for as long as possible, Lily finally gained the courage to reach up and knock on it. Three raps: the first one too soft, the second too loud from nerves, and the third just right. Her fingers clenched with the awkwardness of what she was about to do, but at the crinkling of parchment, she relaxed her hands and remembered that she clutched a letter.
“Enter.” The voice was low, masculine; the word was clipped.
She had written the letter in case Lord Hayes was not in his study, but of course he was. He wasalwaysin his study. Now the folded parchment she clutched was redundant. Lily grimaced and turned the knob, stepping in hesitantly.
Lord Hayes sat behind a massive wooden desk. He glanced up at her in a frowning sort of way, then stared back down at his ledgers. The continued scratching of his pen declared her a nuisance nearly as effectively as words would have.
Lily guessed that her employer was about thirty years of age. After all, Lord Hayes’s dark hair was still thick, with no grey strands at the temples. Even so, he wasn’t in the habit of letting it grow and flop over his forehead, as some men his age did. Hekept it trimmed at the sides with an almost military precision. His face was clean-shaven, his brown eyes shrewd, and there was a small bump on the ridge of his nose that clearly stated it had once been broken.
Lily wondered, not for the first time, what Lord Hayes might have looked like if he weren’t always serious. She supposed there was no point in wondering—she’d never seen him smile, not once.
When she’d first moved in, she’d thought that perhaps his foul moods were due to some sort of financial problem. The idea had worried her so much that Lily checked with the housekeeper to ensure that her wages would be paid.
After all, money was the only thing that had incentivized Lily to travel to the far-flung reaches of Northumberland in the first place. It had taken nearly a week to travel from London to the coastal town of Blyth, and another four hours to travel to Ballam Hall, the family seat of the Viscount Hayes.
Though it had been four months ago, Lily still remembered that journey vividly—it was hard to forget being pressed between the stinking populace, much like a flower between the pages of a reeking book. Then, as now, she’d worn one of the faded brocade gowns she’d procured to look the part of an unfashionable but respectable governess.
For months, Lily’s ruse worked. Her wages had been sent directly back to London to help offset the massive debt that their eldest brother had sunk the family into—debts that Lily thought the new Lord Cavendish had ignored right along with his sisters.
Except Lily knew now that hadn’t been the truth of things. Apparently her brother William had been blissfully ignorant of the dire straits his sisters were navigating alone. He hadn’t even known that their brother Richard had died. The letter she’d received that morning explained everything. William wassending a trusted steward to retrieve Lily; she was to meet the man in Blyth tomorrow morning.
Everything had changed overnight.
“Miss Hughes,” Lord Hayes prompted.
Lily realized that she had been dithering in front of his desk, the same way she had dithered before the door. Now Lord Hayes’s dark brown eyes were focused on her in that keen stare of his. For the months she’d known him, he’d exhibited two primary expressions—a frown or a piercing look that threatened to strip her to the bone.
Unfortunately, neither expression made him any less handsome in her eyes. Very inconvenient, that.
She swallowed deeply and nodded. “I beg your pardon, Lord Hayes. I’ve come to…” She trailed off.
The truth was, Lily knew even less about offering a resignation than she did about being a governess. Besides, she didn’twantto go. Not because Lord Hayes had been so kind, for he had been standoffish at best, and at some points, very grumpy indeed. But she dearly loved Lord Hayes’s daughter, Rebecca—and she didn’t want to tell the little girl goodbye.
Lily repeated the same truth to herself that she had ever since the letter had arrived: this wasn’t about her, not really. It was about her duty to her sisters, her brother, herfamily. It was that duty that had prompted her to earn wages in the first place—she could hardly switch loyalties now.
“I’m very sorry,” Lily began again, “but I’m afraid I have to leave.”
