Bevin leans back and watches me in silence. I don’t let my gaze stray. He hates weakness. A minute or more passes as we stare at each other. At last, he sighs. “I don’t believe you. You’re keeping information from me.”
“Why would I do that?” I demand, letting frustration seep into my words. “I have earned your trust, Bevin. Have you ever known me to be untrustworthy?”
“Never,” he concedes. “But that means nothing now. Loyalty often can turn on the flip of a coin.”
“You’re trusting me now because you know you can. My loyalty isn’t so flimsy. I’m sworn to you. You have no reason to doubt me.”
“Maybe so. Maybe not. Know, though, that I’ll be watching you.”
“Good. Watch me closely. You’ll see that my fealty is to you.”
“We shall see,” Bevin responds after a few more moments. He stands, his body as graceful as a cat, and strides to open the door where his man waits. “Sifa will join Fhord tomorrow,” he says. “Get a message to him to meet us here an hour after dawn. He should be prepared to travel. He’ll take the trip we’ve been planning.”
“I’m to return to Ulfhild in two days,” I interject. I don’t know who this Fhord person is, but I don’t want to work with him. I’m better alone.
“I’m displeased with your work for Ulfhild. You won’t be returning to her. Make an excuse so you can go back if I need it. For now, you’ll assist Fhord. You’ll be gone for two weeks.”
“I’d rather not,” I insist. “I don’t do well with partners.”
Bevin spins and strides forward, erasing the distance between us. When he speaks, spittle sprays at me, little flecks of disdain. “Did I ask your opinion?” I’ve never before heard such anger in his voice.
Much as I want to move away from him, I don’t. It’ll be worse if he sees my fear. “No,” I respond simply.
“Why would you presume to give it, then?” His nostrils flare as he stands tall to glare down at me.
I do the same, making sure I never look away. “You want me at my best. I’m not as effective when I must work with someone else. But if you want me to partner with this person, I will.”
“Yes, you will. Know, though, that he’s not your partner. You’ll assist him. He’ll tell you what I need from you. Make sure you don’t fail me again.” Dismissing me with a wave of his hand, he steps around his desk and sits. When he looks up to find me still standing there, a single brow lifts. “What?”
“You want me to workforhim?” I can hardly believe my ears.
“Was I not clear?” Bevin’s patience has nearly run out.
This is what he asks. It’s what I need to do.
I drop my chin, hiding the anger in my eyes. “Apologies, Bevin. I’ll do as you request.”
“Yes, you will.”
Bevin looks down toward some papers on his desk. He doesn’t say another word as I stride out the door.
My spirits drop as I walk home after arranging for Mikkael and Johan to check in on Toffer and give Halla food while I’m gone. Even the troll’s excitement at my return—and Thor’s perfunctory meow in hello—don’t pierce the gloom that sits all around me. Toffer gives me space, sharing a silent dinner together before nudging me with his elbow shortly after we sit down on the balcony with glasses of wine.
“What’s wrong, my Sifa?”
“I think I fucked it all up,” I tell him, fighting to hold back the tears I can’t let him, or anyone else, see.
He doesn’t chastise me for my language. He must be really worried.
“Tell me, Sif-Sif,” Toffer urges. “You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”
“I don’t even know where to start.” I inhale, thinking through the events of the last few days, the man whose face keeps appearing in my mind. “I’ve been working all this time to get close to Bevin. To get him to trust me. But today, I ruined it all. I’ve lost his trust, and I don’t know how I’ll get it back again.”
“It can’t be that bad.” Toffer’s voice is gentle. “What happened?”
“I lied to Bevin. He knew it. But the worst thing is, I don’t regret it. I’d do it again.”
“Why would you lie to him? You’ve never done that before.”
