The gods have wicked senses of humor.
And they take too much pleasure in playing with our lives.
For ten years, it was easy to keep her away. She landed in the North, but her emotions were too heightened, overwhelmed. She never even noticed me. Never felt our bond.
I only learned later it was because she’d been tortured mercilessly as they tried to learn where she’d come from. How she’d gotten here. Why she’d come. What she planned to do. And more important than anything else, what or who had come with her and disappeared before it could be caught. The Dróttning sensed a third presence when Sifa and the troll erupted into this world, but it disappeared before her guards could get there.
Sifa never broke. Annoying as she is, I have to admit she earned my respect when I learned that.
She even managed to escape from a prison that had never lost a captive. She took control of a guard’s thoughts, something nobody had done before. The Dróttning had a special device created for her—a manacle that will restrain Sifa’s magic when she’s caught again—because the Dróttning is determined to find her and get answers to her questions.
And then Sifa went south, away from her enemies in the North. Away from me. Those were good years. I could ignore her. Pretend she doesn’t exist.
But the Dróttning decided to send me to Bevin. She wants me nearby. More than that, though, she wants me to prepare to usurp him. She’s concluded I’m more trustworthy. Whether or not that’s true, she’s right about Bevin. He pretends to be loyal, but his allegiance is only to himself. He’d shove the Dróttning aside and rule this land if he could.
Sifa’s getting closer to Bevin, but he won’t hurt her. She’s safer here than anywhere else in Vanatia. She has a home. She’s even made friends. She isn’t going anywhere.
So we have to share Revalle. And I have to keep her away from me, make sure she doesn’t sense my presence or the pull of our mating bond. The first time our path crossed, I filled her with revulsion—made sure it would be stronger than whatever the mating bond would ignite in her. It took some effort, but I’ve had centuries to learn to control my magic. I can repel most people without them having any idea they’re being manipulated.
And then the next gods-damned day, Bevin sent her to Ulfhild. And Ulfhild sent her to the training grounds. And she decided to get herself caught by my own people. I fill her with revulsion and anger every time she senses or sees me, but she just keeps showing up.
The gods are fucking with me. I’m sure of it.
I didn’t even tell the Ætt about her at first. They didn’t need to know. But when they found Ulfhild’s girls in the forest outside the training grounds, I had to intervene. I couldn’t let them—I couldn’t let her—be taken to the Kastali. She’d never make it out alive. I made sure Jorunn and the rest of the Ætt let her go.
Now they know about my doomed mating. They think it’s funny.Pricks.
I still tried to keep Sifa away. When I saw her splayed across a couch in the ballroom for all to see, the savage inside me reminded me she is our mate. I’ve never had to work so hard to control him. I almost shifted right then and there—which would have been totally fucked. But I held on. Then I stopped myself from killing the men who watched her a little too closely, bulges in their pants and lust in their eyes. It would have drawn attention she can’t afford.
And she’s not mine. She never can be. Because Tindera will be the one to suffer if I give in to this temptation. Probably my Ætt too. The Dróttning knows they’re the best way to hurt me, and she will punish all of them for my weakness.
I warned Sifa about the Dróttning. Told her to leave. And then crossed paths with her again.
None of it worked. I can’t get away from her. The gods must be laughing at the mess they’ve made.
Fucking Bevin. Forcing us to work together is one thing. Sending us on a job a week’s travel away is something else entirely. I need to just get through this trip and make sure I never have to see her again.
In the meantime, she won’t be quiet. I don’t want to get to know her. I don’t even like her, but it wouldn’t matter if I did. We can’t be together. It would cause too much pain.
“Fhord, I’m talking to you.” Her hand wraps around my elbow as she tries to get my attention. “How much longer?”
Even her touch brings life to my old bones, sending little flames up and down my arm. I yank it away, though, and watch as her eyes fill with dismay, then turn to stone, as rigid as the chestnut they resemble. Mine stay hard. Cold. Let her think I can’t stand her touch. It’s better for both of us.
“I need some personal privacy. I can wait a little while, if we’re going someplace with a privy. Otherwise, we should stop soon.”
“We’ll sleep in an inn tonight.” After flicking my gaze up to the sky, I add, “We should be there within an hour.”
“Good. It’s been a while since I rode a horse. And Hilde’s pace isn’t as smooth as it probably once was. I’m a bit sore.”
She looks down at the nag she rode from the training grounds, stroking its neck with a little smile. That animal should hate her like it hates everyone else. It doesn’t, though. It seems to be fully committed to her already.
I still don’t know what prompted me to get the horse from Ulfhild. Some pathetic part of meneededthe beast that spent two days with Sifa’s legs wrapped around her.
I’m so fucking weak.
Minutes pass in pleasant quiet before she speaks again.
“Are you going to talk to me at all, or are we going to ride in silence the whole way?”
