“Thank the gods you’re such an irredeemable dick,” I mutter as I stalk away from him. “That won’t happen again. I won’t let it.”
His snarl, low and warbling with fury, vibrates the cavern around us. But I don’t hear footsteps.
“Get the fuck back here,” he murmurs, throwing his flat voice into my ear. “Don’t you dare walk away from me.”
I lift my hand and then my middle finger, waving good-bye while my steps carry me away.
I don’t hear him following me and wonder if he’s going to give up. That’s not like him. He’s an obsessive, possessive prick who doesn’t like being denied anything. After a few seconds, though, I breathe a sigh of relief—more because I dragged my ass out of that shitshow before I made a colossal mistake than because he’s not following me.
The hint of light left from the pool disappears when I turn a corner, and I realize I have no idea where I’m going and no way to see anything along the way. This is reckless, and I refuse to die before I see my dragon. I let my feet carry me another hundred steps or so, then sink down to the ground, pulling up my knees and dropping my forehead to rest on them.
Tears fill my eyes and I fight to hold them back. I don’t cry, gods-dammit. My time in Helheim taught me how dangerous it is to give in to emotion. Hel delighted in tormenting everyone who deviated from the cruelty and apathy she demanded in her realm. She punished any elf who showed any signs of weakness. I never figured out how she knew, but she always did. Even tears in the dead of night would send us to her castle, where we’d be strung up or trapped in stone or whatever other punishment amused her that month. Usually for days, sometimes weeks.
She’s such a bitch.
But I’m not in Helheim, and I’m too brittle and broken to hold them back.
I won’t be able to resist him forever. The bond is so gods-damned powerful—much stronger than it should be before we’ve even fucked. I’m supposed to have more choice in this, to be able to resist it. It only solidifies once elves have joined their bodies together. Which is why I’m so grateful that I snapped out of that spell. I’d never be able to forgive myself if I gave in to him and the bond. I don’t know what I was thinking.
“I’ve been looking for you, my skjaldmær.” Wregen’s cold tone pierces the air around me as I hear his footsteps approach. “I warned you not to leave. I don’t like it when people disobey me.”
“Fuck off.” My voice is ice. I’m well past caring what he thinks.
“You’re mine. How many times do I need to remind you of that? You go nowhere without me. Ever.”
“By the gods, Wregen, give it a rest,” I mutter, too deflated to even look at him. “I’m done. I’ll get Panta on my own, one way or another. I refuse to spend another day in your presence.”
“You have no choice. Neither of us do.”
“And what?” I demand, a spike of fury that shoots up from my gut spewing out with my words. “Spend the rest of my life in Helheim as your slave, sucking your cock and spreading my legs when you demand? I’ll kill myself first. The pit will take me before you do.” Now I look up so he can see the disgust in my eyes. “Do you think I have so little respectfor myself?” I scoff. “That I’ll crave, or even accept, a male who would choose Hel over me?”
Standing, I lean into him and poke my finger into his chest. He stands firm, dark eyes the only spots of light in this black cavern.
“Even if I ever could find it in my soul to accept you, Wregen, it would be a useless embrace because I won’t be a toy for a male whose loyalty lies elsewhere. The mating bond is nothing to me. It’s worse than nothing. It’s shit beneath my shoe that I’ll scrape off and wash away before I take another step. I’ll never accept a male who will forsake me when another female demands it.”
Wregen steps into me, wrapping his hands around my throat, because that’s what he does to intimidate the Svends of the world. But I don’t shrink from him. I’m not afraid. I’ll grieve for Panta, but she’ll have Ruxi. We’ve been apart so long, she’ll survive. And she wouldn’t want to be bound to me if I were stuck with him and trapped in Helheim forever.
“Do it,” I challenge. “End this despicable bond between us. I don’t want it, and I suspect you don’t want it either. You belong to Hel. You can’t divide your loyalties.”
“You know nothing,” he spits. His thumbs lift to caress my jaw, even as his eyes flare. “I return to Hel because she won’t let me go. With Jörmungandr at her beck and call, and her hook stuck so deeply inside me, I’d be ripped in half if she ever tried to take it out, I have no choice.”
He takes a deep breath, dropping his hands and stepping back as his eyes grow haunted. “I looked at the papers Balinhid in his desk—what he thought would be the key to my freedom. It’s a half-assed idea that I wouldn’t survive. I have no life outside of Hel,” he mutters, a pulse in his neck pounding as his hands clench and unclench. “We’ll go to Hel because that’s what she demands, and while I live, I must do what she requires of me, when she requires it.”
“And if she orders you to kill me? What then?”
“She won’t,” he barks. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“But you can’t,” I mutter, stepping to the side and away from him. He drops his hands but follows me to close the distance between us. “You have no power to resist her. If she ordered my death, you’d take my life, mate bond or no.”
“You have my oath, my skjaldmær. That won’t happen. I wouldn’t allow it.”
I shake my head at him, tears filling my eyes again. “It doesn’t matter, mate.” The last word erupts with half a laugh. Nothing’s funny, except the fates’ fucked up senses of humor. “I don’t want you. I can’t have you in my life. And I won’t go to Helheim with you.”
“No!” Wregen’s shock spills around us, vibrating through our bond to send a tremble down my spine. “We’re not done,” he mutters. “Stay here, but prepare to defend yourself. That bastard found us and he’s brought a fucking cavalry with him.”
“What are you talking about?” I whisper, terrified of whatever could inspire such intense emotions in a male who fears nothing. “Who found us?”
“Ruxi battles Balin and a few dozen of his unicorns. They're outmatched and won’t survive it. I’ll keep ourenemies from you.”
