Another dip of her chin. “You’ll have one more chance,” she tells me. “The elves and that purple beast who claims to be yours are coming after you. They nearly found the path here but lost their way, so they’re going to chase down your mate’s dragon and search from there. They think to free you from my realm.” She laughs, but it’s not joy that spills from her lips.
“Children, always thinking they’re more than they are,” she adds with a heavy sigh. “Garmr will accompany you as youchase them down. You’ll kill the male elf and the dragon and bring your mate to me. I haven’t decided yet what I’ll do with her, but I suspect I’ll enjoy her company for many, many years.”
If my heart could explode, it would. I have no fucking idea how I keep the terror that erupts within me from showing on my face. I’ve fucked up so badly, and Finaan is going to pay the price for it.
I won’t bring her back here. I have to promise Hel I’ll do it, even if I never will. And then I have to find a way out. That accursed hound Garmr will kill me when it’s clear I’m not obeying our mistress. And then he’ll track down my skjaldmær himself and carry her to her doom.
I won’t be able to stop the dog, and even if I could, Hel holds part of my soul. She’ll always be able to find and control me.
“Dismissed.”
I bow, waiting for her release. When it comes, I trudge away from Hel, taking the long trek to Pudge’s room.
And I collapse.
Chapter twenty-six
Finaan
Your Master
“Areyousurethisis the way?”
By the gods, Svend is driving me insane. He’s asked this question a dozen times every day for the last ten days, and the answer’s been the same every time.
Nobody’s sure of the way. We’re all stumbling around in the dark.
We’ve been wandering through these caves for two weeks. At least, I think it’s two weeks. With no sun to guide us, we’re eating and sleeping when our bodies demand. We count a new day whenever we wake up and start traveling again. Rata swears his internal clock is measuring the time, but he’s not the most honest squirrel I’ve ever met. And he’s a bit of a troublemaker.
Still, we’re gods-damned lucky to have him, and that the gods, or fate, or whatever fickle beings guide our steps, have provided so many edible plants along the way. Our supplies have dwindled, but Rata knows what will kill us and what won’t. He won’t let us forget, reminding us with every meal how lucky we are that he deigns to travel with us. We don’t feel particularly lucky as we force down the moss and fungi that stanches our hunger. It’s better than starving, though.
The water healed Ruxi after I tortured the poor dragon by digging that enormous arrow out of their ass. We got them into the water in time to give them the magic they needed to survive a wound that really should have been lethal. I still have no idea how they found the strength, the will, to carry us all to safety. But they did.
They’re so fucking amazing. It warms my heart to know the fates gave Panta such a worthy draikani.
They also gave her Wrath—perhaps the balance everything in nature needs, because nobody can have a simple, joyful life. That serpent complicates everything, but I’m trying not to think about Wregen and his monster. We’ll deal with them and our impossible mating bonds when we find Helheim.
Ruxi and Rata are doing their best, but the path to that dark place is well-hidden, and we’ve yet to chase it down. Twice, we thought we were close. Ruxi and I felt our bonds flare, telling us the asshole and his serpent live. Both times, though, the cavern led us away and we lost our connection.
Panta told us to chase him. It feels like a fool’s errand, but we trust her with our lives. So it’s killing us that we’re going to abandon our search and go after her instead. We need to talk to her, learn what she’s learned since Ruxi left. And, in all honesty, Ruxi needs their draikana. They’re different since the attack. It’ll do all of us good.
“Are you listening, Finaan?” Svend demands in his whiny tone.
“We’re all listening,” Rata declares, scampering next to the elf, occasionally weaving through his feet as he walks. It’sannoying, but he stopped doing it to me after I stepped on him one-too-many times. Svend still tries to avoid him, so Rata fucks with his feet.
He stays away from Ruxi’s claws. He hasn’t lived this long by doing stupid shit like that.
“Then why isn’t she answering?” Svend huffs, spinning his head to glare at me. “Your dragon told you to follow our master…”
“Your master,” I bark, knowing he’d repeat this ridiculous claim, because he refuses to stop. “I wish you’d try to let him go,” I add in a softer voice. “He’s not your master, either.”
“But he is,” Svend says, as he does whenever I push back. It doesn’t matter, though. This isn’t going to change. “We’re to follow my master,” he mumbles. “You said your dragon’s command was clear.”
“We tried. We need to go see Panta, learn what she knows. We’ll go after him. The fates want it and we are their humble servants,” I add, somehow managing to keep the sarcasm from my voice.
It’s like they’re making it up as they go. As a child, I believed the Norns had been writing our stories for millennia, all to serve some greater good they alone could discern, controlling even the fates of the gods. But then I ended up in Helheim, and learned nobody had a single say about Hel’s fate. And those bitches paired me with Wregen and Wrath. Now, I trust them even less than I trust the gods. If they’re using Panta to manipulate me and the others, I want to know about it.
“You’re leading us farther away from our master.”
