Page 54 of Shattered

“It means I’ve been watching you consider going back to Jake for days and I can’t do it anymore.” His jaw was tight, a muscle jumping in his cheek. “I can’t sit here wondering if you’re going to choose the man who destroyed you.”

My brain was spiraling, trying to understand where his anger was stemming from. There was only one conclusion, I dismissed it from my mind because it was impossible. I asked to confirm anyway, “Are you jealous?”

“Yes.” His gaze held mine, it was dark. Honest.

The admission knocked the air from my lungs.

“I’m jealous,” he continued, and something in his voice was breaking, “I’m jealous that Jake gets to walk back into your life after destroying you and you actually consider forgiving him. I’m jealous that he had five years with you and threw it away and might still get you back. I’m jealous that when you think aboutyour future, he’s apparently still in the picture while I’m—” He stopped. Swallowed hard. “While I’m… whatever this is.”

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. My heart was slamming against my ribs so hard it hurt. “When did you start feeling this way?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes!” The word came out too loud, too desperate.

“Why?” He set down the duffel, his hands curling into fists before relaxing. “Would it change anything? You didn’t know. Fine. Now you know. What difference does it make?”

“I don’t… I didn’t…” Words were failing me. My mouth was opening and closing but nothing coherent was coming out.

“Exactly.” His jaw clenched. “You don’t know what you want. And that’s fine. That’s your right. But I can’t stay here watching you figure it out.”

“Don’t go. Just—don’t go.” I said, almost pleading now.

“Tell me why I should stay.” His eyes were doing something—brightening, filling with tears. “Give me one reason that isn’t just that you’re scared to be alone.”

“Because I’m asking you to!”

“That’s not enough.”

I wanted to say it. That I might have developed feelings for him in these past weeks. But the words were stuck in my throat, bleeding with confusion.

Was this real, or just gratitude? Love, or proximity? Was I falling for Axel—or just terrified of being alone again?

“I need time,” I said finally, the words scraping out of my throat like they hurt to speak.

Something in his expression shut down completely—like a door slamming, like lights going out all at once. “Right.”

“Axel—”

“I’ll be around. Not gone, just—” He opened the door, cold air rushing in from the hallway. “When you figure out what you want, I’ll be there.”

He paused in the doorway. For a second I thought he might turn around, give me one more chance to find the words that were stuck somewhere between my heart and my mouth.

Instead he said, “I’ve waited this long. I can wait a little longer.”

Then he was gone.

The door closed with a soft click that felt louder than if he’d slammed it. Final. Absolute.

I stood there, frozen, my arms wrapped around myself. Five seconds. Ten. Breathing hurt. My chest felt like something was crushing it from the inside.

Then I moved.

Grabbed my keys from where they’d fallen. Ran for the door. The elevators were not working.

I took the stairs, taking them two at a time, my ankle screaming in protest—that same ankle he’d worried over, that he’d made sure I elevated, that he’d brought ice for without being asked. Through the building door, the metal handle cold against my palm. Out onto the sidewalk just as his car pulled away from the curb.

The brake lights glowed red in the afternoon light.