“‘The evils of such a choice’?” read Jane, her voice shaking. “Mr. Darcy thought marrying me anevil?”
Elizabeth pointed to the part of the letter where Mr. Darcy began to speak about Mr. Wickham.
But Jane was trembling, reading the rest of the letter. “Oh, how wretched. I must tell Charles that we cannot be friendly with this man! Once we are married, Charles will cut all ties with him.”
“Oh, that seems a bit too much of a reaction,” said Elizabeth. “He has fixed it, has he not? He is the one who sent Mr. Bingley back to you.”
Jane glared at her. “How can you not see how this hurts me, what he has said?”
“How can you say it will be wondrous for me to give my child to Louisa Hurst?” Elizabeth’s voice broke.
“Well, you cannot keep that babe yourself,” said Jane. “Certainly it’s better than Mrs. Jacoby, who is a stranger.”
“Louisa Hurst doesn’tlikeme,” said Elizabeth.
Jane’s face twitched.
“And I shall be shut up with them for months, during the most vulnerable time of my life, and there is nothing for it, and you arecelebratingit!”
“Lizzy, I am sorry.” Jane sounded sorry. “I wish there was some other way. But this entire situation is impossible. There is no good outcome, I’m afraid.”
“Perhaps I should simply go and drown myself,” said Elizabeth.
“Lizzy, what a thing to say!” Jane handed the letter back to her. “I never wish to see this again. Burn it.”
Elizabeth folded it away, possessive of Mr. Darcy’s letter. He had touched it. His hands had formed these words. She thought of his hands, his masculine and graceful hands. He was a tall man, Mr. Darcy was. His hands were big.
She did not hide the letter where Jane would know where it was. She was afraid her sister would burn it herself.
CHAPTER FIVE
ELIZABETH WOULD HAVEliked to have talked to her aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, instead of writing the whole thing in a letter and sending it with a servant to her aunt’s house in London. She supposed this might have been because she hoped that her aunt would say that the entire scheme would not do and that they must do something else.
But then, her aunt did not truly know how much it was that Caroline Bingley hated Elizabeth, for it was not something Elizabeth had shared with anyone. After all, back when the dislike had been evident, Elizabeth had not thought much of it. She had thought Caroline a bit petty and a bit snobbish, but largely ridiculous. She had not been inclined to pay Caroline any mind.
Even so, Elizabeth hoped that her aunt would write back with some objection—that the cottage in Lambton would not be available for their use or that Mrs. Gardiner felt she must accompany them after all.
However, her aunt seemed relieved at the turn of events, and Elizabeth could not fault her, for she was increasing as well. Her aunt had the burden of her entire household on her, all her children and her husband. Elizabeth could not expect her aunt to have the energy to put Elizabeth’s cares first.
So, time passed, and preparations were made.
Mr. Bingley must have known about Elizabeth’s condition at some point, but, to his credit, his behavior to her changed not a jot in the time from then until the wedding. He seemed his regular, jovial self.
Lydia returned from Brighton, the regiment having gone on north to Newcastle, and she seemed to have had a marvelous time without Elizabeth, glad that she had come home when she did. She teased Elizabeth mercilessly about the birds and how badly they had affected her, correctly guessing that Elizabeth had put it on to go home, and everyone in the house seemed to find this funny, but most of all her father, who still thought it was quite hilarious that he’d insisted she go to Brighton in the first place.
Eventually, Elizabeth began to feel that an escape from this household might be welcome.
They seeded their story early.
They said that Mrs. Hurst was with child, and she wished to go away during the time until she would deliver the babe. She had asked Elizabeth if she might come and attend her along with her sister, and Elizabeth had said she would do so, of course, and there were no objections from her mother or her father.
So, it was all set to happen, after the wedding.
Elizabeth began to prepare herself for it all. She packed a trunk. The good thing about the style of dresses that were popular now was that they all had high waists. She might not need a new wardrobe whilst she was increasing, perhaps. It would depend on how much she increased everywhere, she supposed, and that could happen. Sometimes women’s bellies just swelled. Sometimes they swelled all over.
She did not like to think about that, because it made it all too real.
But it was actually happening, after all, and she must make her peace with it.
