“Well, if you could make haste?” called Caroline. “We are eager to be on our way.”
Elizabeth had a choice now, she knew. She could ask for help. She could admit that she could not do this on her own. She could lower herself and make herself vulnerable in front of Caroline.
Or she could drag the trunk herself.
She chose the latter.
Luckily, the twinges did not return, and then she wondered if she would actually like to lose the babe, if that wouldn’t actually be the best thing that could have possibly ever happened to her at this juncture, in fact.
She scolded herself for thinking such a thing, but… well… she could not deny that if it happened, she would be both sad at theloss of the child, who she had already grown attached to, and also very, very relieved.
When she got to the carriage, everyone was on board. She dragged her trunk over, and the maids were sitting on the back. She could not lift the thing onto the rack beneath the carriage. She looked up at the driver, who took pity on her, hopping down to take it from her and put it on the carriage.
Then, Elizabeth climbed into the carriage with Caroline and Louisa.
“Finally,” said Caroline.
“Whatever kept you?” said Louisa.
Elizabeth balled her hands up into fists. She wanted to explode, but she kept it in. She realized, however, that she would not be able to keep it in forever. Eventually, this explosion would happen, and it would likely be at a point when she least wished it to happen.
THE DOWER HOUSEwas vast compared to the cottage they had come from, but Elizabeth’s presence must be kept entirely secret from everyone, even the servants who would be serving them here. They had been spared a cook and a maid of all work, both of whom were on loan from Pemberley, and who would, Caroline said, gossip if they found out about Elizabeth.
Therefore, Elizabeth would be required to do quite a bit for herself. She would have to empty her own chamberpots and fill her own wash basins, to change her own bedsheets, and to stay entirely out of sight, at all times the servants were about.
Caroline said that the maids would help her, but Elizabeth well knew that neither Bessie nor Jennifer would be inclined.
It was not until the next morning that Elizabeth realized that there had been no provisions made for her toeat.
She was meant to stay in her room at all times when the servants were in the house. They came over to sweep, see to the fires, make food, and things of that nature, and then they left in the mid-morning. Elizabeth came down, famished, and there was nothing.
She said to Caroline, her voice low and even, “I cannot very well grow this child if you starve me.”
Caroline realized that she had miscalculated. “Oh, dear.”
Louisa rolled her eyes. “You didn’t think about feeding her? That is exactly like you. All you care about is having your dinners with Mr. Darcy, and here we all are, in service to your scheme, Caroline.”
“I shall say that we need extra for Louisa, that is all,” said Caroline. “I shall send Bessie over for something now.”
Bessie returned, just a little while later, with only some bread and butter.
Elizabeth was very hungry. “This is not enough.”
“Did you not explain that Mrs. Hurst was quite hungry?” said Caroline to Bessie.
“I thought,” said Bessie, “that a bit of starving might do her good, to teach her the wages of her sins.”
Caroline pressed her lips together. “Well, in the future, Bessie, I should like you to remember that what you should do is less thinking and more obeying. But there is nothing for it now.” She turned to Elizabeth. “You will have to make do with that for today.”
That was Elizabeth’s breakfast and luncheon, and she felt dizzy when she climbed the stairs to her hidden room later, as the rest of the company were dressing for dinner.
In her hidden room, the fire had gone out. She was obliged to sit up and get it going again. Her stomach was growling. They must bring her something back from the dinner, she thought, something substantial.
But they did not.
She roused herself and came down to meet them, and she asked immediately about food.
“Oh, dash everything,” said Caroline.
