Caroline stood in the hallway, shaking her head, looking quite upset.
Louisa joined her.
They heard Mr. Darcy open the front door to the dower house. They heard the front door shut.
“I told you,” said Louisa, “you must not push him the way you have been pushing. You practically begged him to call upon us—”
“I only mentioned that he might do so.”
“A thousand times, Caroline!”
“I did not,” said Caroline.
“I have told you, since, well, since Netherfield, since these wretched Bennet women appeared in our lives,” said Louisa, “that he does not care for you, Caroline, that he does not return your feelings. I have told you, again and again, Mr. Darcy is a lost cause.”
“Stop it,” said Caroline, rounding on her sister. Her voice was thick.
“You have concocted all of this around him, but you never asked me if I wanted any of it. You never asked me if I wanted a child.”
“All women want children!”
“Do they, though?” Louisa huffed loudly and then she stalked off down the hallway, leaving Caroline alone.
Caroline hung her head and began to cry. She was all alone, and she simply stood there, sobbing, and Elizabeth could see her, and she did not know what to do.
“Stupid,” whispered Caroline through her tears. “You’re so stupid. Why are you so stupid?”
At first, Elizabeth wondered if Caroline was speaking to her, or to Louisa, or to a servant.
But then Caroline began to strike herself, hitting herself again and again, uttering the words, “Why can’t you do anything right? It’s no wonder no one wants you. You’re so stupid.”
Elizabeth flinched, watching the display. It was pitiable. It was disgusting. It was… well, Elizabeth did not go around striking herself, but she had felt such self-hatred before, she supposed. Everyone did. She had not expected that Caroline Bingley felt it so strongly, but perhaps she should have.
After all, if one loathed oneself, it was likely easier to loathe others, she thought.
She would have thought it the other way round, but she thought that there was a skill to giving others grace, and if one could not give others grace, one could not give oneself grace either.
Then Caroline lifted her gaze and startled. “You. Skulking there in the shadows! What are you doing?”
Elizabeth froze.She’s seen me.“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, but I was curious. I would not have stayed here and watched you, but I did not know how to get out of here without giving myself away.”
Caroline came for her, pulling her out from behind the door. “How dare you?” She was trembling with rage.
“How dare I?” said Elizabeth. “You cannot keep me hidden away in a room and make me empty my own chamberpots and then behave as if you are the one who suffers!”
Caroline slapped her.
It hurt, and Elizabeth let out a little cry, stumbling backwards, hand to her cheek.
Caroline advanced on her. “We have put everything on hold for you, for your transgressions. We are here because you got yourself with child, and if you suffer, it is only your own fault, it is only what you deserve. You are ungrateful and spiteful, andI have always thought that you were a horrible sort of improper devil of a woman.”
Devil of a woman? “But it was not really my fault,” whispered Elizabeth, her cheek smarting, her body trembling. “What was I supposed to have done? I did not know he would do that to me. I did not know it was in my drink. It was wretchedly hot in Brighton and everyone was drunk, and I was supposed to have gone to the Lakes—”
Caroline slapped her again.
“Stop that,” cried Elizabeth, her throat tightening painfully. She shoved Caroline. Tears were starting to stream down her cheeks.
At that moment, Louisa appeared in the hallway. “What is going on here?”
