“I did not,” said Elizabeth. “I was not even awake. I don’t even really remember it.”
“Appalling,” breathed her aunt. “Absolutely appalling.”
They walked in silence for some time.
Her aunt spoke again. “All right, I do have an idea. Allow me to write to my friend Mrs. Jacoby. She and I were married the same year, and she has no children of her own, despite desperately wanting them. Then, I shall put out to everyone that I have a strong inclination to give birth in Lambton, for my family has a cottage there where we could all go. I’ll bring the children. You will come to assist. And Mrs. Jacoby will also suddenly be with child. She will come there, too.”
“Oh,” said Elizabeth.
“I know.” Her aunt squeezed her hand. “It will not be as good, for you must give the babe up, but Lizzy, you must think like a mother. You have nothing to offer this baby, not on your own, and you must make a sacrifice for it to have the best life it might possibly have. Mrs. Jacoby will dote on your babe. She has wanted nothing but a child for many years now. She will lavish everything upon your own one. And perhaps we will be able to allow visits of some kind, now and again.”
Elizabeth bit down on her bottom lip. She did not know why she was already so attached to this babe that was growing in her, but the thought of abandoning her own child to someone else, it was devastating.
However, her aunt was, of course, right.
She must think of what would be best for the baby, and this did seem like it would be the best thing.
“All right,” Elizabeth said faintly. “All right, it is not what I had hoped, but it is the best that can be done, I think.”
“You poor child,” said her aunt. “You poor, poor child.” She squeezed her hand again.
CHAPTER THREE
ELIZABETH THOUGHT TOtell Jane that evening, but it did not come to pass. Jane was rather talkative, telling all the stories of her venture with the Gardiners, telling that they had been to Pemberley, Mr. Darcy’s estate, and that they had seen him, that he had stopped Jane and stammered out an apology, of all things.
“I could not believe it,” said Jane. “He said he was sorry for anything he had done to dissuade Mr. Bingley from pursuing me, something I likely knew all about. And I said that I had no notion of what he was talking about, of course, and he went quite red in the face.”
Elizabeth had not told Jane that Mr. Darcy had separated Mr. Bingley from her. She had thought it too painful to relay to her sister, who was so dejected over Mr. Bingley’s abandonment in general. It seemed cruel to say that it had not even been Mr. Bingley’s idea, that the man had been easily swayed by others.
Jane laughed. “And now I come home to find that Mr. Bingley is back in Netherfield. What a turn of events.”
Elizabeth began to yawn at this point. She was ever so tired, especially in the evenings. She wished to stay awake so that she might speak to Jane after everyone had gone to bed and tell her what had befallen her.
But she was too tired, and she soon was forced to excuse herself and fall into bed.
The next morning, she tried to find a time to get Jane alone but was unable to do so. After luncheon, who should arrive but Mr. Bingley.
He and Jane went off for a walk together, alone, which was telling enough about what was to happen, for there was only only one reason a man would ask for an audience alone with a woman. When they came back, Jane was radiant. She was engaged.
Then, Elizabeth had time to speak to her sister alone. But her sister only went on and on about the proposal.
“Mr. Darcy told him that I liked his five thousand pounds a year much more than I liked him, can you imagine?” said Jane. “Of course, I told Mr. Bingley that, with Mama going on the way she does sometimes, he might be excused for such a thought. Mr. Darcy said that I was not demonstrative, possibly because I did not truly care for Mr. Bingley, because I was simply pretending in order to trap him into a marriage.”
“Jane, I have something I wish to talk to you about,” Elizabeth said.
“Anyway, Mr. Bingley said that he was hurt because he never believes that women truly want him, that he believed it. He said, ‘I was convinced the fault lay with me, though, I wish you to see that. I never thought the fault lay with you. I thought I must not have been sufficiently pleasing enough to capture your true admiration.’ But then Mr. Darcy told him he had been mistaken. How do you suppose that happened, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth licked her lips, caught off guard. “Well, perhaps we could return to this in but a moment, because I have something else I must tell you.”
“It was you, of course, and you have been keeping this all to yourself. You must have spoken to him when you were both atRosings, and you got him to go to Mr. Bingley on my behalf!” Jane shook her head at Elizabeth. “I thought you said he hated you after you refused his proposal.”
“I think he does,” said Elizabeth. “Listen, Jane, this thing I have to say, it’s rather dreadful.”
“Oh, hold off, please, then. I am in such a lovely, lovely state, simply floating. I wish only to enjoy it. Lizzy, I am to be married!”
Elizabeth gave her sister a painful smile. “Of course, dearest Jane. Of course. I shall hold off. I can tell you at another time.”
But she did not.
