Grace:It really was. Almost makes me want to get married someday (gross)
Olivia:God bless the man who manages to tie you down, lol.
Grace:MANY men have tied me down before, actually..
Olivia:I did NOT need to know that.
Me:Same.
Grace:Oh please, you’re probably into all kinds of freaky stuff now. Declan looks like he knows his way around some light bondage.
Me:Cannot confirm or deny.
Grace:God, I need to get laid.
I should take this opportunity to set the record straight and let them know what happened with Declan at the reception, but I don’t. Olivia changes the subject to honeymoon planning and before I know it, several days have passed and I still haven’t told anyone what happened.
I know I’m being a coward, but I’m not ready to see the shock and disappointment on anybody’s faces just yet. I’m not sure I could find the words, even if I wanted to.
Hey, by the way, I sabotaged one of the best things I’ve ever had in my life because I’m too fucking scared. Declan told me he loves me and I let him walk away instead of saying it back. I have no idea what to do now or if it’s even possible to fix what I broke.
Just thinking about it makes something deep in my chest ache, so I keep my secret tucked away, along with those three words I should have told Declan at the wedding.
They’re replaced with three new words that are on a constant loop in my mind, growing louder and more demanding the longer we’re apart:I miss him.
CHAPTER 45
Elsie
Work the following Tuesday is its own special kind of hell. I’ve never detested that giant window taking up prime real estate in my shop more than I do know, knowing Declan is just on the other side of it and trying with every ounce of my self-control to avoid catching a glimpse of him. Thinking about him hurts enough without having to see him, too.
I spend the majority of the day hiding out in my office or the greenhouse, using the excuse that I have to review our inventory and figure out what kind of orders I need to place for the fall. I’d spent the first hour of my day revamping our displays and marking down some of the arrangements that look like they might not last much longer, but the second the shop light flipped on next door, I made my excuses and fled to my office.
I know it’s not fair to stick Noah out on the floor on his own, but he handles it well, and he promised to let me know if he needs help. Every time I check on him, he’s chatting with customers orassembling arrangements for display. A couple times, when the shop is empty of customers, I find him hunched over his phone, tapping away at the screen with a furrowed brow. I make a mental note to check in later and make sure everything is okay.
It’s mid-afternoon when Noah pops his head into my office. “Hey, boss.”
I look up and give him what I hope is a convincing enough smile. “Hi, Noah. What’s up?”
“I ended up working through most of my lunch, so I was going to take a quick break and run down to The Grind. Is that okay?”
A pang of guilt smacks me square in the chest. “Of course. You should have said something, I would have taken over so you could take your full lunch.” We usually stagger our lunches so someone is always covering the shop. I’d skipped mine today – come to think of it, I didn’t eat breakfast, either – so I didn’t think anything of it.
Noah waves his hand and gives me his usual easygoing grin. “It was no biggie. I just need a quick caffeine hit and a snack to get me through the afternoon. Would you like anything?”
I probably shouldn’t consume any more caffeine on an empty stomach than I already have coursing through my system, but I’m going cross-eyed sitting here staring at my computer screen. Maybe it’ll give me some energy to finish going through our inventory reports so I can try to figure out what will keep selling well into the fall, and what items are going to become seasonal for the summer only.
When in doubt, more caffeine is usually the answer.
“An iced lavender latte, if they still have the lavender, please. Otherwise, whatever sounds good. And it’s on me,” I add, digging around in my purse for my wallet. I find my debit card and hold it out to him, but he tries to wave me off.
“You don’t have to –”
“Noah,” I cut in. “Take the dang card. It’s the least I can do after making you miss your lunch.”
He rolls his eyes but takes the card. “I told you, it really wasn’t a big deal.” He glances over his shoulder and fiddles with my card. “I’ll only be gone for fifteen minutes or so, but the shop…”
That same guilt slams into me again. I’ve got Noah scared to even step out and leave me with my own shop for fifteen whole minutes.
