I shake my head, reaching for my glass of wine. When I take a sip, I wince. It’s much drier than the last bottle, and I prefer my wine on the sweet side. “I don’t know if it’s like that with Declan and I.”
“Like what?” Olivia asks.
“I mean, don’t expect us to be falling in love like you and Cam did, or anything like that. Maybe he just wants to get whatever this is out of his system, and then he’ll move on.”
Olivia and Grace share a look. A look that clearly says,yeah fucking right. Or maybe,this bitch is crazy. Or possibly even,there’s no chance in hell.
I ignore them and grab my melting gelato. “Sewiouswy,” I mumble around a mouthful before swallowing. “It’ll probably just be, like, a casual thing.”
Grace scoffs into her wine. “I don’t care how casual you keep it, as long as you give us all the details when that man finally dicks you down.”
I nearly choke on my dessert. “Jesus,” I mutter. “You make it sound so violent.”
Olivia grabs her napkin, balls it up and tosses it at Grace’s head in warning.
“It’s okay to like him, you know,” she tells me, her voice softer now. “I know he’s not your usual type, but if you want more than just hooking up with him –”
“Stop,” I cut in. Noting their surprised looks, I add, a bit more gently, “I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. Besides, I don’t even know if Declan does the whole girlfriend thing.”
I’m terrified to let myself consider the idea ofmorewith Declan. Not when it’s so fresh and new, when I have no idea where his head’s at or what he wants out of this.
“If you want to keep it casual,” Olivia says, squeezing my arm, “then I hope for your sake it works out better than it did for Cam and I.”
She doesn’t say anything, but I don’t miss the subtle look Grace gives her before taking another sip of wine.
None of us say what we’re all thinking – that despite my protests, there doesn’t seem to be anythingcasualabout the way Declan and I feel about each other.
CHAPTER 26
Declan
“I asked Elsie out on a date.”
The sound of Sean’s tattoo gun hitting the ground ricochets through the shop, the angry buzzing sounding like a swarm of bees as it skitters across the floor.
“Dude, pick your foot up,” I tell him, nodding toward his leg that’s weighing on the foot pedal like he’s drag racing. The second he lifts it, the buzzing stops as his machine turns off. It’s Saturday night and the shop is closed for the day, so there’s no loud, thumping music to mask the noise.
“Sorry, I’m going to need you to repeat that,” Sean says, leaning closer and cupping a hand around his ear like he can’t hear me.
“Fuck off.” I shove him away from me and he laughs, bending to grab his machine off the floor. “If you’re going to be a jackass about it, I’ll keep it to myself.”
“I’m sorry,” he laughs, not sounding the least bit contrite. “Please, continue.”
I want to keep my mouth shut just to spite him, but honestly, I’m dying to talk about it. I didn’t have a session with Deja today, and I can’t wait for therapy in a week. Not that a friend is a substitute for a therapist, but sometimes I just need someone to talk my shit over with. She’s constantly reminding me it’s okay to open up to my friends and let them in. We both know that byfriendsshe really meansSean, because I don’t exactly have a big roster to choose from.
I don’t usually follow that particular advice of hers, but I think it might be time to start. It gets exhausting, keeping everyone at arms’ length. And I know it isn’t fair to the people who genuinely care about me andwantme to let them in.
“I want to date Elsie, so I asked her out.” To Sean’s credit, his eyes only bug out of his head a little bit this time. “I like her. A lot.”
“I knew that part. I have eyes. But does she…” Sean’s voice trails off and he scratches his chin. His machine has been set down on the table next to him, my tattoo forgotten for the time being. “Do we think she, uh, likes you back?”
It pains me that I can’t immediately answer the question.
Does Elsie like me?I know I get under her skin. I’m able to rile her up far easier than I should be able to, which has to mean something. I know she’s attracted to me, and the chemistry between us is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Anytime we’re in each other’s proximity, we’re two sparks just waiting to meet and ignite.
And fuck, did she ignite in that greenhouse. Idefinitelyknow she liked the orgasm I gave her. But does she likeme? She said yes to going on a date with me, which has to count for something.
Still, I skirt the question.
