“I reckon the navy is different from merchant ships, Miss.” Patrice lifted a shoulder. “Did ye ever tell him ye wanted to go with him?”
I sighed. Curse her logical questions, ones I should have considered all those years ago. “No, I never said anythingdirectly. There may’ve been an underhanded remark about wishing to be with him during his voyages.”
“That’s not like ye. Usually, ye are verra straightforward.” I saw Patrice’s furrowed brow and knew she had every reason to be confused by my behavior.
I shook my head, looking down in thought. Her question echoed. Why hadn’t I asked him to take me with him? Why wouldn’t I have fought for something I wanted? Then an epiphany added clarity to my troubled mind and I looked at Patrice, admitting something I never had before.
“Perhaps…” I paused. “Perhaps I did not know what I truly wanted.”
Mr. Ashby sat in one of the chairs around the small table in our cabin. I set out the box of pistols and opened it to reveal the weapons for him. He picked one up and looked it over, then set it down and opened one of the two separate compartments of the box.
“This is where the balls are kept.” He opened it and pulled out a small lead ball, then put it back and opened the second compartment. “This is the powder.” A third compartment was not covered and contained a metal rod almost the same length as the pistols. “This is the key to unscrew the barrels so you can load it.”
I watched, trying to figure out the process before he explained. I wanted to take it from him and try it on my own, but I sat patiently and let him continue. He showed us how to unscrew each barrel, then demonstrated how to load as he explained each step.
“Now, once your gun is loaded, you can cock it and keep the safety on until you are ready to shoot. It should stay in place even if you put it in your pocket or under your pillow. I would check it occasionally to make sure it is still locked so it doesn’t accidentally go off.” He set down the loaded pistol and we all looked at it. Then he met my eyes. “Would you like to practice?”
I nodded quickly, and we went to the top deck to fire off the pistols. Mr. Ashby had placed bottles on the gunwale to test our aim. We had limited balls, so we could only fire twice in order to save them, but both Patrice and I had the chance to load and shoot our guns. I hit two bottles, grinning at my success. Patrice needed a bit more instruction than I did, but by the end we both felt fairly confident.
I tucked the pistol into my dress pocket and smiled at Mr. Ashby. “Thank you for these. You probably don’t know what it means to me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What does it mean?”
“That I am capable of deciding my own fate.”
“You’ve always been capable,” he said with surety.
I focused on him seriously. “Thank you. For believing in me.”
He didn’t say anything to that, only looked at me with a sincerity that made my heart swell. There was something about the way Mr. Ashby looked at me sometimes…. It made me feel confident.
He seemed like the type of person I could trust entirely, with my thoughts and fears and vulnerabilities without being looked down on. I more than enjoyed his company; I looked forward to it each day. It took me by surprise, at first, to feel such excitement around him. But I reminded myself that getting to know a newfriend was thrilling. Meeting Melody, for instance, had been a monumental experience. I didn’t meet new people very often. Surely one connected with each new friend in a unique way. This blossoming friendship with Mr. Ashby was entirely foreign to me, so I would take each day as it came and not think too deeply about it.
Chapter 10
“Williams,Little,Ridley,getdown here,” Mr. Tallow yelled over the wind. The ship’s boys were standing on the forecastle, apparently speaking of something exciting.
Simon Ridley, the fifteen-year-old boy whom I’d become friends with over the past few weeks during our lessons with Tallow, looked back and beckoned me to join them. “I’ll go get them, Mr. Tallow,” I said before going up the ladder.
I squealed when I saw what the boys were gawking at. “Dolphins!” I exclaimed, leaning so far forward to watch them I nearly tipped over the gunwale. Behind me I heard an intake of breath, and then Patrice was beside me, laughing at the sight.
“Dolphins are mighty good luck on a ship,” Simon told me. His childlike wonder shined so clearly in his eyes, and yet he sounded so intelligent when he spoke.
“I’d read something like that before. It seems we’re blessed, then.” I grinned at the beautiful creatures jumping over the ship’s wake.
We heard Tallow’s voice again, and I worried he’d make himself hoarse by continuing to call us down. I motioned to the other boys. “We should go. Tallow’s waiting for us.”
After a few more pleased looks, we took turns descending the steps to the main deck. Tallow began explaining something we’d already learned the day before, but I took mental notes anyway.I had learned the basics of navigating and felt mildly confident about my skills. Tallow was a knowledgeable and patient tutor. After only a week or so of interacting with him, I felt he was like the grandfather I never had. Kind, wise, and soft-spoken. The fact that he had lived the majority of his life on a ship with hardened sailors for company impressed me.
He handed Williams the sextant. The boy pointed it to the horizon, and I went over the steps in my mind. He pressed the clamp to release the index bar, brought the sun to the horizon, released the clamp and adjusted the sun’s position, then relayed his findings to us.
Mr. Tallow clicked his tongue, which was a habit of his. “You need to double-check it before you say it so confidently, Williams. Here.” He held out his hand for the sextant. “Once you align it here, you release the clamp, and then verify its position. Then you should get the correct angle.”
Williams bowed his head. “I’m sorry, Mr. Tallow. Shall I try again?”
“No, no, I believe you’ll get it right next time. Miss Findlay, you’re up.” He held out the sextant to me and I completed the actions in order, remembering to verify it as well. Mr. Tallow nodded when I finished, and my heart swelled with triumph. It felt good to learn something that previously had been so foreign to me.
There were many things I was capable of that I’d never considered trying before.
