"I know it's stupid but I keep constantly trying to do my best, hoping that if I am the very best at everything, then she won't have a reason to stop loving me."
"Wren, you need to be happy. You are not responsible for making somebody else happy. You need to try to find some way to make yourgoals actuallyyourgoals,” I suggest. She turns to me, a small smile on her lips.
“This is me trying, Miles.”
She looks at me for a long while as if her eyes are telling me to trust her. Telling me believe that she’s able to pick herself back up. As if she needs to let me know that this isn’t her first time having this conversation with somebody. I just hope she means it.
"I'm proud of you."
She blinks at me. "You don't need to say that, Miles."
"I do," I say, "you don'tneedme to say it but I want to, okay? I haven't known you long but I don't need to to say that you are the most brilliant person I have ever met. And I-" The words get stuck in my throat and I swallow them. "I think you're spectacular. And I hate that you think that your mom is going to stop loving you for not doing your best. Because you, just existing is enough."
She wraps her arms around me and it feels like it's the first time she's really hugged me. She holds on tight to my shoulders and I squeeze her lower back, pulling her into me as I whisper,I'm here.
"You have no idea how much that means to me," she muffles into my neck.I do,I want to say,I do.She holds onto me tight before pulling back, trying her best at a real smile.
“Enough of this sad shit. Do you want to order food? I’m hungry,” she rambles as she flops back onto my bed, clutching her stomach. I don’t push her on the sudden change of subject. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open up UberEATS.
“Are you sure? You just threw up,” I ask. She nods, pulling her hair out of her face. I try and ignore the streaks of red I can see in her eyes. “What do you want to get?”
“Uh…I don’t know,” she says, biting her lip.
“Youjustsaid you were hungry.”
“I am,” she says defensively. This always happens with her. She complains about how hungry she is but can never make a decision about food.
“Okay, then. Burgers?
“Too many calories.”
“What happened to wanting do things for yourself?” I groan as I lean over her. I kiss around her face and her neck rapidly. She tries to escape but I kiss her faster and she laughs, moving up and down the bed.
“I am,” she squeals again as I start to kiss her collarbone. “I want to do things for myself but, that doesn’t mean I want to mess up my diet right now. I work hard for the body you’re so clearly obsessed with.”
“That’s true but I don’t want you to feel like you have to stick to it for me,” I say, pulling away from the kiss. Her soft hand moves to my cheek, her thumb stroking beneath my eye the way that I like.
“I don’t stick to it for you. I do that for myself.”
“Okay, good,” I reply as I kiss her again.
*
After completely demolishing our order of ramen, Wren and I lay in my bed, as we let the bloating settle. We put on her favourite movie‘Easy A’while we waited for the food to arrive, but we hardly watched it while we ate so we’re restarting it. In fact, she begged me to restart it because,apparently, it’s not the same watching something while you’re hungry.
Her leg is hooked around mine as I lean on the pillows behind my head to see the TV. For someone who could barely look at me a few months ago, she’s hella clingy. It’s like we have to be touching at all times. Even after she forced me to restart it, her head is on my chest and she’s not even looking at the screen as she stares at the material of my shirt as her nails run up and down my arm.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask, trailing my finger up and down her spine.
“You want the honest answer?” she mumbles into my shirt.
“Honesty, always.” She shifts in her position and moves to look up at me. Her soft smile turns into a sexy, evil smirk as she climbs onto me. I don’t ignore the twitch in my dick when she leans forward, her hands on my chest and her breath falling close to my ear.
“Just thinking about how much watching you eat ramen turns me on,” she whispers before kissing my throat. I bring my hands to her ass, squeezing her softly before she gasps quietly in my ear.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mm hmm,” she murmurs, her voice sultry and quiet on my ear. “All I could think about was how badly I wanted your mouth on me. On every.” She kisses my throat. “Inch.” She kisses me again. “Of my body.”
