What the fuck have I done?
CHAPTER 41
WREN
Have you ever wanted to know how many times a nineteen-year-old girl can cry in a week? Apparently, a lot. Since I’ve met Miles, I’ve had more emotion breakdowns than I’ve had my whole life. That’s a lot compared to the week of my first skating competition when I was six.
When Kennedy called, I thought she was trying to tell me about more comments on our posts, trying to shield me from the mean ones, like she has been for the past few months. But the softness in her tone told me immediately that was not the case. Naturally, when I started to watch video, I also started to freak out. I knew I couldn’t be there and listen to a lame-ass excuse when I was so torn up about it. The constant tightening and anxiety developed into nausea, and I had to leave. When I get home, Kennedy and Scarlett are already there with wide arms, ready to spend the rest of the day trying to help me forget what I saw. What everyone else has seen by now.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” Scarlett says, bringing over a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. My favourite. I hold the cup between my cold hands and take a generous sip.
“Tell you what it is? He’s a Leo. It’s theonlything that makes sense. Do you know what his rising is?” Kennedy asks, eating dry Cheerio's in her beanbag. I roll my eyes and try and rack my brain to remember it.
“I think he’s a Leo rising but I don’t see how that’s-”
“Hmm,” she cuts me off, looking at me thoughtfully. “Double Leo? Not good.”
I laugh a little at her adamancy and Scarlett throws her a strange look before moving to turn to me on the couch. She props her leg up and leans against the headrest.
“How areyoufeeling?” Scarlett asks.
“I don’t know, honestly.”
That day after we slept together for the first time, I knew running away was a bad idea, but I had to clear my head. It was everything I could have wanted but it was also frightening. Taking that step with someone isn’t just an easy thing. Especially when you’re in a fake relationship. I didn’t expect to find him drunk in the middle of the day with an old lady. The last thing I thought is that he would spill all of our private information to a hype-thirsty teenager.
Mason Greer has been trolling the internet for the past two years and everybody across the country knows who he is. He used to post embarrassing videos of kids in a grocery stores and Karen’s in malls but then he started to get high off the fame and started humiliating anything and anyone. Any opportunity he got to make a meme and to blast someone online, he went for it. He’s exposed many cheating scandals at schools he doesn’t even go to because people are stupid enough to talk to him, to confide in him, and not expect him to post about it. There are only a few pictures of him online but he’s not very distinguishable.
In the video, Miles is sat in the bar, clearly unaware of who he’s talking to and he’s babbling. About me. At first, I thought it was fine. Sure, it’ll be a little embarrassing but sort of cute. But then he couldn’t stop talking and showing pictures and videos of us. Pictures and videos that I thought were only between us. In most of the photos, I have some sort of clothing on but in others I might as well have been naked. It was fine when I heard him speaking about our relationship, how fun it was and then he said that he loved me.
He said that he loved me, but I didn’t love him back.
He said that I was incapable of doing it and made it seem like I was this evil monster who didn’t love this sweet puppy back.
We’ve been back in Salt Lake for over a month now, but the video only surfaced now because people started to identify him, and it spread around NU. I would have been fine if I didn’t look into the comments to see what people were saying about me and about the situation.
MeganDraya45: Who wouldn't love hi? He's so sweet.
BradenMoutbatten99:Who's the girl? The pics are hot.
HSLOT224LIFE:OMG! He's so cute. He needs to dumb his gf ASAP, no Rocky.
TayTay34:She must be insane not to love him. I don't even know him and I'd protect him with my life.
NathanGrey12: I'm starting a petition to get him a new gf.
“If anything, this is more embarrassing for him than it is for you,” Scarlett says.
“Is it?” I reply, laughing. “This whole thing makes me look like a bitch. The pictures were a little embarrassing but it’s not as bad as Miles saying that I’mincapableof loving him.”
“Well, do you? Love him, I mean,” Scarlett asks cautiously.
“I don’t know. I like being around him, sure. I like talking to him and the sex is fucking fantastic, but I don’t know if love is the right word. Love means dependency, it means commitment and it’s something that could tie us together. I don’t know if I want that.”
“Sounds like love to me,” Kennedy sighs in a strange country accent.
“So, what are you saying? Don’t you want those things with him?” Scarlett asks sceptically.
“I guess but not now. We work well together as friends, first and foremost. The physical stuff is fun and it’s exciting but I’m just afraid that if this merges into one thing it’ll fizzle out. We’ll burn ourselves out.”
