It still baffles me how Zion has made it work with Austin with how stubborn she is. She’s like me, in the sense that she trains all the time and has little free time. I remember when they first started dating when they were in high school, and Austin told me that she was going to break it off with him before she left for NU. Then they started to get more serious, and she found it harder to resist him and he was relentless in keeping them together. My mom wasn’t happy about it, but she simmered down when she realised that Austin always put her work first. For them, that was never an issue.
“I think you’ve got your answer. I love that name too,” I sigh, leaning back into my chair. I let myself melt into it for a second, as I close my eyes, thinking of all the things that are going to change when the baby is here. Good things. I’ll have a nephew, I’ll get to see my sister more and Zion too, I’ll get to watch this little boy grow up in a happy family.
“You seem sick,” Austin comments and my eyes shoot open. I straighten my posture and look over at her.
“I’m not sick. I’m fine.”
“No, you’relovesick. I saw the way your face turned sour when I mentioned Zion. I can tell somethings going on in that weird little brain of yours,” she explains, wiggling her finger into my face.
“I’m closer to being actually sick than beinglovesick,” I say with a shudder. She gives me a disbelieving look while she sips her water, her eyebrows raising over the glass. She sets the glass down and sighs.
“Emmy, it’s okay if you miss him. This is the first time I’ve really seen you so happy with someone. When you were with Augustus, it sounded like you guys were bound by a business contract more than anything. Miles sounded fun. He seemed like he was good to you and he was goodforyou,” she mentions, leaning back in her chair as she rests her hands on her stomach. I try not to laugh at the irony.
“I do miss him, but I don’t have to. The semi-finals are this weekend and if I get in, I’ll be going to the finals in two weeks.”
“You need to let yourself have fun. You don’thaveto see him as a distraction. That’s something you can work on. I thought the same about Zion and now look at us,” she begins, gesturing to her stomach. “The only thing I’m waiting on is that engagement ring.”
“You and Zion are different,” I huff, waving my hands around to give myself an excuse. “Miles and I are at college. We could be going into two different paths at the end of fourth year.”
“I think that you’re trying to think of any excuse to let yourself be happy. I saw that video, Wren. Headoresyou. Let yourself have that.”
She looks at me with tender eyes as I try and let her words marinate. I’ve always known that Miles felt that way about me but the part of my brain that I can’t ignore is telling me that this is only infatuation. Something that can fizzle and burn out. Something that when he spends enough time with me, he’ll realise he won’t want me anymore.
“But… What if he stops feeling that way.” My voice sounds distant and weak. Almost childlike.
“It’s like you’ve listened to nothing I just said,” Austin concedes with a frustrated grunt. “You’re never going to know unless you try. Even if he does, which I’m sure he won’t, at least you can have some memories together.”
“I don’t know, Austin. This month has been hard, but it’s been productive.”
“Okay, how about this? When you get into the finals, because I know you will, go and talk to him. If there’s a part of you that wants him, see where his head is at and give him a chance,” Austin suggests.
“A chance?” I groan.
“Yes, a chance. You need to rest and have fun.”
“I’ll rest when I’m dead,” I mumble. With wicked timing, the food arrives, and Austin’s thoughts become clouded by the smell of her meal instead of me.
CHAPTER 44
MILES
“You’re lucky that I haven’t cracked your head open yet, Davis.” Jake shouts another threat to me from the showers while I finish getting ready in the locker room. Some of the team shout a ‘Yeah’ in agreement and the howling begins. Again. We’ve just finished our quarter final game which we almost lost. It was a close tie until the last few minutes of the third period, and we managed to pull through. On top of all this unnecessary shit from the team, I’ve got to go to my mom's 50th birthday party later which I’ve been dreading all week.
“God, can everyone chill out? We didn’t lose, in fact we did the exact opposite,” Tyler says with a sigh. They nod at me before dapping me up and walking past me.
“Wealmostlost because you acted like you were out of your fucking mind,” Jake spits, walking around from the showers.
“But wedidn’t,that’s the whole point. Give him a break,” Xavier retorts, drying himself off. Jake inches towards me, a nasty look on his face.
“I’m sick of giving poor Miles Davis a break. He needs to man up and get his head in the game,” Jake shouts, squaring up to me. I'm sick of his shit. I tower over him and glare. “What you gonna do, Davis?”
“You know exactly what happened last time we did this, Callahan,” I bite out. “Step thefuckback.”
He stares at me for a minute, resisting to back down. Most of the team are now gathered around us, ready for a fight to break out. Luckily for him, he steps back out of my face and turns back.
“Listen, we’ve got one more game before the finals,” Coach begins, standing at the door of the locker room. “There’s no point trying to blame each other. All you need to do is work together on doing better. Understood?”
“Yes, Coach,” we all say in unison.
