“You just did.”
My words sound so far away from us. As if I’m floating outside my body, watching and letting myself slip into this moment where I never thought I would end up. Here, in a bar restaurant with five of my best friends, and my boyfriend telling me that he loves me for the first time. He loves me and I believe him.
“Oh, yeah. I did,” Miles murmurs.
I put my hand on his cheek tenderly, turning his face closer to mine. I act as if we’re the only people in the room. As if nothing else exists other than us, right here, in this moment. I press my lips to his and I kiss him softly. It’s the kind of kiss that could spiral out of control if you let it. The kind of one that leads to many more, but I don’t let that happen. Instead, I pull away until we’re centimetres apart.
“I’d save you a seat too.”
The second I let us slip away, we’re met with groans and gags from the rest of them. The only person who’s smiling is Xavier. Sometimes, I feel like he’s the only one out of all of us that actually understands what it feels like to be this in love. No matter how scary it is.
More music comes to mind. This time, it's the first-dance remix of 'Lover' by Taylor Swift. When did I start doing this?
“Can you believe we’ve only got two more years of this?” Scarlet asks, nostalgia drowning in her eyes. Everyone turns to her and suddenly, the mood has shifted into a calming silence. “Like, we’re going to be doing real people shit soon.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for adulting yet,” Kennedy groans, shoving her face into her hands. "Do you think we'll still be friends in five years from now?"
"If Scarlett and Evan don't kill each other before then, sure," Xaiver replies and we laugh. "You guys believe in different universes and shit, right?"
"Of course," Kennedy beams. I nod and so does Miles, Scarlett and Evan.
"Well, I think that in another universe we would still be friends. I think we'd make it to each other somehow. I mean, if it wasn't for Wren and Miles, we wouldn't be sitting here right now. Maybe you girls would be on one side of this resturant and us on the other, celebrating our grades, not even knowing that we're existing in the same time frame. Do you ever think about that?"
"Shit, man," Evan murmurs. "I think about that all the time. But actually hearing someone say it is crazy."
"I definitely think we'd still be friends in a different universe," Scarlett mentions and we all agree.
“I didn't mean for this to go all existentialist, I just wanted to say that in a few years, I want to be living by the beach.”
“No one is stopping you, Ken,” I say with a shrug. “I’m getting out of here as soon as I can.”
“Me too,” Xavier sighs. “I want my own family.”
“Is that what Michelle wants?” Miles asks from beside me, his hand still on my thigh but I feel him everywhere.
“She’ll do anything I want to do. The same way you’d do anything Wren asks you to,” Xavier laughs but Miles isn’t. He looks down at me, a quiet smile playing on his lips.
“You are extremely whipped, my friend,” Evan says, shaking his head at us. I don’t have the energy to fight him on it and neither can Miles. He just looks down at me like we’re the only people truly existing now.
“I am,” Miles says proudly. “I will follow you around Barnes and Noble and hold your books for you for the rest of my life.”
"Are you sure? I get a lot of books," I murmur, raising my eyebrows.
“And I'll hold every single one for you.”
*
The rest of the meal goes by in a haze. We talk about the same four topics on rotate, somehow managing to put a spin on the same topic we’ve been discussing for weeks. The only constant I could focus on was Miles’ hand on my body. The way he needs to rest it on me as if I’m going to slip away. Even on the drive on the way home, his hand grips onto my thigh as he drives me and the girls to our apartment. When we’re standing in the doorway once Kennedy and Scarlett have gone inside, his hand rests comfortably on my waist as my back hits the door.
“I meant what I said earlier, Wren,” Miles says, breaking the comfortable silence.
“I know.”
“I’m going to say it again. I’m warning you before you freak out on me,” he says, raising his eyebrows. I pull him in closer from the hem of his shirt.
“I want to hear you say it again.”
The darkness of the hallway has given me more confidence than it should. I’ve been testing the waters, barley dipping my toes in, trying to feel how it would be. I want to jump straight in. I want to fall and never come back up for air so long as I get to spend it with him. I knew from the beginning that as much as I tried to avoid it, I was bound to fall for him. He's my person.
