We once walked from our apartment to campus singing the ‘All Too Well’ ten minute version by Taylor Swift. No breaks. No interruptions. Just pure and utter chaos. There’s something extremely cathartic about screaming ‘Fuck the patriarchy’while walking past the frat houses near campus.
Tonight, we’re celebrating the first few weeks of the school year going surprisingly okay. It’s nothing, but we can think of pretty much any excuse to go out. It’s always hard to find a day when we can all go out together because our schedules are a mess again this year, so we’re trying to make our rare night together fun.
We’ve started going to this bar because my family are friends with the owners, so we’re able to get drinks without getting checked for ID. The bar staff always make sure we’re safe and that we don’t drink too much. Overall, it’s a great place to go when we want to have a good time. I need a night off from thinking about everything with my dad and since we made a minor breakthrough with the project, I feel more at ease.
We finally make it to Kiwi, all of our arms linked together. It’s a Friday night, so we’re not shocked that it’s packed in here. The bar has two floors, both resembling Nick Miller’s bar in the show ‘New Girl’ with dark brown accents and burgundy furniture.
The upstairs is where most drinks are served, a jukebox in the corner and where most of the older, rich people hang out. Downstairs is where me and the girls usually go, where there’s is a smaller bar, karaoke machine, booths, and tables full of people dancing and singing.
It reminds me of the kind of restaurant you end up at while on vacation with your family as a kid, when you’re sleepy and tired, the floors are sticky, it's humid and you know that you’ll be fast asleep on your way back to the hotel. It’s by far one of my favourite feelings. Especially with these girls.
We make our way to the bar, each of us ordering a cocktail to start off, scanning the surroundings as we lean against the bar. These are the kind of places where I meet someone, we have a flirty chat, and it usually ends with me in their bed. I’m willing to see whatever the universe wants to throw in my way, as Kennedy suggested.
I’ve never been a relationship person and when that line started to blur with Jake, I vowed never to cross it again. Being in a relationship is a lot of work and I can’t do that right now. After taking a Buzzfeed quiz with the girls, it confirmed the fact that I’m afraid of abandonment, realising that I won’t be enough to make someone stay. It’s a sickening and pathetic thought, but when you’ve been seen as nothing more than a spoiled millionaire your whole life, it’s hard to convince people to stay because they actually like you and not your family’s money.
I can do as many party tricks as I want, give amazing handjobs, pass every test at the top of the class and I’m still not seen as enough. Not something that people aspire for.
I’m great on paper but the second a guy realises that I’ve got more baggage than they’re put out for, they run the other way. I’m the kind of girl a guy gets before settling down with the bubbly, fun, easy-going, Princess Sunshine girl. I’ve accepted my fate and I’m cool with it.
Mostly.
“Look! The karaoke machine is free,” Kennedy says, pointing to the corner of the bar, which holds a modern karaoke machine and a screen. “Last one there has to do a solo.”
Her last words come out of her mouth in a hurry as she rushes off into that space of the bar, me following after her and Wren being the last one to catch up. It’s not that far of a distance, but Ken loves to make things into a competition and I’m naturally very competitive. Wren’s more of the chill one, not caring too much about having to sing a solo.
“What song should I sing?” Wren asks, looking through the small device attached to the screen. “I know the night just started, but I physically don’t have it in me to go all musical theatre on you tonight.”
“Milesy’s gonna hate that,” I say, laughing.
Her boyfriend is ahugemusical theatre fan, which she found out on their vacation to Palm Springs last summer and the torture she gets put through whenever they carpool.Kennedy and Wren laugh before I say, “What are you in the mood for?”
“Something sad,” she replies, and I raise my eyebrows. “I’m fine, before you ask. Sad music always hits differently.” I nod and she scrolls through the list again. “I’m thinking Adele. I amsoready to serenade you.”
Less than a minute later, Kennedy and I are slow dancing to Wren terribly singing‘All I Ask’ as the whole of the bar sings along with her. She misses nearly every high note and Kennedy and I try our hardest not to laugh, feigning sadness as we dance like two lovers going through a breakup. When she hits the bridge, we can’t help it anymore and we start to laugh, falling apart in each other's arms.
Do you ever just look at your friends and think,wow, I am so lucky to have them? Because I think that every time I look at them. It’s hard to even put into words the feeling that I get when I spend time around these two. I love watching Kennedy talk with her hands about fictional characters and watch Wren cry to Phoebe Bridgers songs. I love the childlike joy on Kennedy’s face anytime anyone mentions something she loves and the blush on Wren’s cheeks when she talks about her boyfriend. They make the most mundane activities fun. We can spend hours talking about the same topic and I will never get bored. They turn a sweaty bar full of twenty-somethings into a concert and I love them for it.
Kennedy is trying to catch her breath as the song ends and Wren steps down from the elevated surface and embraces us as the crowd cheers her on.
“That was incredible,” I say, hugging her tight to me. She’s all sweaty and puffy-faced, looking how she does after a training session on the ice.
“Why, thank you,” she says coyly, giving us a curtsy, but it’s more of a bow since she’s wearing shorts and a tank top. “I think I’ve traumatised people with that performance.”
“The only person you’ve traumatised is Evan. He’s looking over here like his life has just flashed before his eyes,” Kennedy says, nodding her head back towards the bar. She nudges me. “Thisis closest to the sad I-Miss-Scarlett face you’re going to get.”
That’s when I see him.
Jesus, how did I not notice him before? And he’s staring right at us.
He’s dressed casually in a white button down, some of his chest exposed, and black dress pants, his arms crossed against his chest and his ankles crossed. I shouldn’t be surprised to see him here.
I’ve seen him around here a few times, but he never stays for long. He sits here on his own, staring at his drink for a couple of minutes before leaving. I can deal with ignoring him and having a good time, knowing that he’s judging me from a distance. But tonight, his eyes are on us, and I hate it.
“How long has he been there?” I ask, turning back to Kennedy, feelingthe heat of his gaze on the back of my neck.
“I saw him when we came in. He’s kinda been watching us. No biggie,” she replies, brushing it off as she scrolls through her phone. She turns to Wren who is downing a bottle of water. “I’vegotto show you the video I took. I’ve already sent it to Lover Boy, so don’t worry.”
Wren laughs. “He’s going to think I’m drunk already,” she says, pulling Kennedy’s phone into her hand.
