“I am the company.”
“Really?” I nod, instantly regretting it. He squints his eyes at me, trying to figure me out. I don’t like it. I don’t like this at all. “But you live in an apartment off campus, and you got the cheapest thing on the menu. If you were actually connected to them, you wouldn’t even need school.”
Oh my God. He must really think he’s hit the nail on the head with that one. This is exactly why I don’t tell people anything about me. They either realise that I’m not using the benefits of my family’s money to get my way out of school, or they think that I’m a spoiled nepotistic child who gets everything handed to her. Or worse, they realise that I have all these benefits and that they can use me to get what they want.
“Not everyone wants to throw education out the window just because they can. I live in an apartment off campus because I love my friends. I ordered the cheapest thing because it was the best thing to get. I’ve been here five times and I get it every time, no matter who I’m with. And frankly, I assumed you were paying at first and I didn't want to embarrass you. I also didn’t know that you could assess wealth so easily,” I get out all at once, finally ripping the Band-Aid off. I want this day to end. I just want to crawl up in my room, pull the covers up to my chin and cry.
“What?” he says, blinking as he shakes his head. He’s smiling now, full on grinning. He might as well puff out his chest and bang on it like a gorilla, seeing as he looks like he just won the lottery. “Are you embarrassed by it?” he asks curiously, humour lacing his tone.
“Embarrassed by it?” I repeat, gawking at him. “No. I love my family and I love our company and everything we’ve done. I’m more embarrassed by the way people act around me when they realise who my family are.”
“And how do you think I'm acting around you?”
“Like you want to scream at the top of your lungs that you fucked me last week.”
“Can I?” he asks. Is he being serious? There’s that slight smirk on his lips, mixed with a head tilt. He must be joking, right.
“No, you dimwit, you cannot,” I say. I might be acting extra defensive, but I can’t deal with this right now. My legs shake as I stand up, grabbing my bag from the seat from beside me. “Goodbye!”
21
Scarlett
Things have not been going my way today. Everything has been just fucking great. First, my uncle completely creeps me out with his casual butcher’s shop in his backyard. Then, I can’t decide if he was gaslighting me or if I was really that stupid to mix up the person, I saw at the jewellery store and the ID I discovered. Then, my date blew up in our faces. Now I’m stomping out like an overstimulated child.
I shrug my coat on, storming through the door as I zip it up. As I step through the small lobby outside the restaurant, I notice it’s raining. Really hard. I stay under the shelter, trying my best to pull out my phone without the wind causing the rain to splash onto the screen.
Of course, it’s a Saturday night and most of the cab services are booked and unavailable. I take a look down into the suddenly crowded sidewalk filled with slap happy twenty-somethings all waiting for a cab.
I shove my Airpods in, blasting‘Space Song’by Beach House as I start to walk down the sidewalk. Today has already been a shitshow as it is, sad music won’t do anything but slightly cure it.
The rain is getting heavier, and I can feel it seeping into my clothes, ruining my hair. My coat feels heavy, my hands no longer feeling comfortable in the pockets.
I think about calling the girls, telling them what an insane day I’ve had, but I don’t want to burden them. They’ve always got something of their own going on and when they look at my life, it always seems fine and stress free. When I come to them with problems, it usually isn’t about a failed date because I never have those. I actually liked Max. For whatever reason, I let my guard down around him and I started to trust him. He became that one good thing in the mess my life has become.
That’s how I end up crying as I walk home, the tears disguising themselves in the rain pouring down my face. God, I truly am pathetic.
Part of me blames myself for messing up today's date. If I hadn’t been so distant, I wouldn’t have messed up the card. If I could chill out for two seconds, I wouldn’t have snapped at him and ruined it before having a civilised conversation. Communication has never been my best strength, but I’m trying.
There’s that word again.
I’m still a few blocks away from my apartment, convincing myself that if I play this song on repeat twice more, I’ll be in the lobby. That logic only works sometimes. My body is too tired to speed up the walk home. I just want the ground to swallow me whole at this point.
I pass the movie theatre and I know I’m not that far from home. It’s completely dark outside other than the odd shop light. I try to keep my head high, not wanting to get freaked out by this dark isolation. Then I see a black car slow on the road on my side of the street.
I try to ignore it, not looking directly at it as I speed up my walk but turn down my music. The car’s pace matches mine. Shit.
Can today truly get any worse? The last thing I need is some creep following me home. I glance over at the car again as the window rolls down. I turn my head forward, keeping my eyes trained on the bright lights of the pharmacy ahead.
“Scarlett?” someone calls. Okay, now it is time to walk as fast as I can. The rain and these heels are not helping. “Angel?”
Of course, it’s him.Of course,Evan Branson has to be here when I’m at my worst. Great. He’s probably having a field day with this, grinning, and smirking to himself about how much of a mess I look.
“I don’t know who you’re talking to,” I lie, walking as fast as I can now, watching my step so I don’t end in a puddle. The car still doesn’t leave my side as I cross the street, pushing my hair out of my face.
“Let me take you home,” he shouts from the car. I look over at him. His window is fully down, his arm and head hanging out of it, his white shirt sleeve drenched by the rain.
“I can walk,” I say back.
