“What is he talking about, Mom?” I ask, but she doesn’t answer. Neither does my dad. They both stare at me, their eyes blank like they have no idea what I’m saying. “Is that true? Did you do this whole thing just to prove a point?”
My mom clears her throat and says the three words that I’ve heard so much over the last four years. “You’re not ready,tesoro.”
I can’t hide the anger that boils up in me. “Not ready? Are we seriously doing this again?”
Dad nods slowly, looking down at my mom, before his dark eyes meet mine. “Yes, it was a fake list. But how much of it have you really completed? Not a lot, I assume.”
My throat pinches. “I-I’ve been working really hard on it but I have classes and finals too . . . I can’t just drop everything and put all my time and energy into this.”
Alex gets to his feet again, standing in front of me like he doesn’t even want our parents to look at me. I feel sick. Everything inside me is all tangled together and pulled tight.
“All of this ‘when she’s ready’ stuff is bullshit and you know it,” Alex argues, raising his voice. “I told you bothyearsago to give her the job she wants, and this is what you do instead? I can’t fucking believe you two.”
My dad raises his voice too, and the sound gives me a headache. “Alex, that’s enough.”
“No, it’s not. She’s my sister. The only one I have. And I’m sick of you two continuing to punish her for a mistake she made when she was sixteen. Stop pretending to be blind to how much talent she has.”
Hearing Alex stick up for me like this is . . . a lot. I’ve always known he’s had my back, but this is different. He’s been rooting for me all this time, trying to convince my parents to trust me again, and they still haven’t listened.
He turns to me again, ignoring my parents completely. “You were supposed to move to London with me. Did they ever tell you that, Scarlett? You were supposed to come with me and start an exchange program there and get a job working with me at Voss. But because of one mistake, they’ve been acting like you’re not ready, still stringing you along and dangling your dream in front of you to never give it to you. One look at that list and Iknewthey were up to the same old shit.”
I feel lightheaded. I shouldn’t be upright right now. I could’ve gone toLondon? I could be working as a designer right now, living in a completely different country and doing something I love. But I’m not. I’ve been stuck here as some kind of penance, pathetically trying to prove to my parents that I’m worth the effort.
Alex lets out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his hair. “You know how unfair it is for you to do this to her.” Even though he’s talking to my parents, I feel his words everywhere, seeping into every wound that still hasn’t fully healed after all these years.
He pushes past me, and I don’t have it in me to tell him to stay. To thank him for this. For always having my back without me even realizing it.
“Is what he said true?” I ask into the quiet room. “I could’ve gone to London instead of NU?”
My dad takes a deep breath. “Scarlett, it’s not that simple and you know it. After everything that happened, do you know how it would look if we just handed you a job?”
“You wouldn’t have handed it to me. I would’veworkedfor it. You know I would have.”
“We couldn’t risk it,” Mom adds. “We couldn’t risk something like that happening again.”
“How many times do I have to say that I’m sorry?” I ask, a sob tearing out from the back of my throat. My entire bodyshakes with the weight of my sadness. Hot tears stream down my face in an uncontrollable rhythm. “I was a teenager. I’ve done everything I can to make it up to you. Are youevergoing to forgive me?”
“We have forgiven you,” my dad says, his voice cool and dejected. “We just can’t trust you yet, Scarlett. You’re still young and immature, and we just don’t think you are ready for the responsibility.”
I knew what happened that day would bite me in the ass. I knew I’d never truly be able to escape the one mistake I made. No matter how many apologies I dish out or how many things I do to prove to my parents that I’m not that person anymore, that trust is gone completely. And from the look in their eyes, I’m understanding that it might never come back.
“I’m going home,” I say when I catch my breath, wiping my face with my sleeve.
My mom steps into me, reaching out for my hands. “This is your home.”
“Not right now, it’s not.”
I don’t care that it’s Christmas Day or that I haven’t even spent more than two nights at home since the break, but I need to get out of here. I can’t spend another minute pretending that I’m okay with the way my parents have been treating me my entire life.
Junior tries to say something to me about staying, but I’m not listening, too busy trying to get my crying under control enough so I can get out the door. I don’t look back as I make my way to my car and drive back to the only place I can truly call home.
CHAPTER TWENTY: SCARLETT
As much as Wren and Kennedy might not want to hear it, there is no amount of chocolate or horror movies that can cure the way I feel right now.
It’s been three days since I stormed out of my parents’ house on Christmas Day, and I’ve only just been able to start breathing again.
Every time I think about the way they looked at me, another wave of sadness hits me. It’s not just that they don’t trust me; they don’t respect me either. They don’t see me as an equal, someone they should take seriously and pay attention to. I’m just this . . .thingto them. This problem they’re trying to tame and get rid of. And because apparently it hasn’t worked well in the past, they’re finding new ways to hurt me even more.
