But it’s still too much to imagine more than his lips on mine, his hands on my waist, perhaps elsewhere … not clothes coming off, not skin against skin.
Finally we collapse on to his bed, our faces flushed from jumping on his mattress. I lie facing him, breathless, our heads propped on the pillows. Is this how we’d look at each other after?
I can’t imagine it, but maybe I’d like to. Maybe I’d like to discover it with him.
I suppose it doesn’t matter anyway, not when it will never happen.
We lie quiet until even the most suspicious gods must have returned to the party or else retired to a suite – most likely with others.
‘So we’re married,’ I say after what feels like forever.
‘I’d say the wedding went astonishingly well,’ Hades says. His ceiling is painted with gentle swirls of colour and we stare at it like they are the stars in the sky. ‘A room full of Greek gods and no one killed anyone? No one started an orgy? No one accused anyone of crimes or infidelities? It was almost boring.’
‘Ha, I think they knew nothing they did could be as dramatic as the marriage itself.’
‘I suppose there’s always tomorrow,’ Hades says.
Tomorrow is the last day of the wedding. And my coronation.
‘No one will upstage me on my special day,’ I joke. It seems ridiculous that I will be front and centre in a ceremony, receiving a crown. The only way I can get through it is to pretend I am some cruel villainess and this is all part of my evil plot to steal the throne.
Hades smiles as he turns to me. ‘No one could, no matter how hard they try.’
‘Careful, husband, that was almost nice,’ I say.
‘I meant that you are far more dramatic than they could ever hope to be.’
‘Precisely.’
‘“Dramatic” isn’t the compliment you seem to think it is.’
‘Then do feel free to shower me with others. It is my wedding night after all.’
Hades’ lazy smile fades. ‘I’m sorry this is what your wedding has become – a ruse for your safety.’
‘You know it’s better than anything else I had expected.’
‘I do know. But that shouldn’t have been what you expected. It should have been a happy celebration. It should have involved love and –’
‘Have you spent too much time tonight with Aphrodite, dear?’ I ask. I can’t bear the way he echoes my thoughts back at me. ‘You’re sounding awfully sentimental and it’s concerning.’
‘Indulge me a moment of sentimentality on a night like this,’ Hades says. His eyes meet mine and they’re warmer and happier than any that have ever looked at me. ‘Please.’
‘It’s your wedding too,’ I say quietly. ‘Your marriage. You deserve more than a ruse as well.’
‘Persephone, I’m happy,’ he says. ‘Truly. It would be an honour to spend eternity with you. Which is also more than I had ever expected from a marriage.’
I swallow, resisting every urge to close the distance between us.
Is this what eternity will be like? Hopelessly pining for a husband who has made it clear several times over that all he sees between us is friendship?
‘You know, you’re more than I ever expected and more than I ever hoped,’ I say instead. ‘Thank you, for all of this. It was the perfect day with the perfect person. The start to a perfect eternity.’
Hades wrinkles his nose. ‘Okay, you’re mocking me now, right?’
‘Yes … but I do sort of mean it too.’ I grin. ‘I’m just not very used to this. I love you, Hades. Not … not of the sort that might be expected within a marriage,’ I half lie because eros – that lustful love that Mother said shouldonlybe found in marriage – is all I can think about. ‘But I love you nonetheless. And that’s not something I’ve ever found easy.’
Whatever it is he’s feeling, he hides it well.
