Faked love.
My heart skips a beat. Of course, this isn’t … this isn’t a declaration of love but of desire. Eros not philia.
I nod. ‘You’re right. This is too complicated.’
Because I don’t think I can kiss him like that again knowing he does not love me the way that I love him.
Because I do.
Of course I do.
And right now that love is a knife and it’s cutting me – I’m shattering from the inside out.
Hades smiles sadly. ‘I’m sure we’ve made a mess of things already.’
‘We’ve handled worse messes.’ My throat is tight. I need to go. I can’t … be around him right now.
‘It sounds like there’s a party down there. Your stars might be a new annual festival. We could go?’
‘Actually that, um, the stars kind of exhausted me. I’m going to go rest but you should go.’
The ivy swallows me before he can reply, before he can see my tears and add embarrassment to this pain.
I knew better than to fall in love with him and I did it anyway.
I have no one but myself to blame.
MY COURT ARE EXHAUSTED THEnext morning, having thrown quite the star-celebration party, which is a shame because I want nothing more than to throw myself into the drama of their squabbles. I certainly don’t want to think about last night.
‘How is Hades this morning?’ Charon grins and I startle.
‘What? Fine. Why?’ I haven’t seen him this morning, though to be fair I have been actively avoiding anywhere he might be.
‘Last I saw he was throwing up in the river Styx.’
‘Which explains why Styx was screaming at him while half carrying him back to the palace,’ Nyx adds.
‘I’m sure he wasn’t the only member of the court in such a state.’
‘Yes, but it’s always a rare and delightful sight to see the king like that,’ Hypnus says.
‘Well, I think we’ll call it there for today, given we’ve all veered off topic anyway,’ I declare.
‘Probably for the best.’ Charon winces. ‘When I went to theshore after yesterday’s meeting there were four hundred souls waiting. I couldn’t have been gone an hour.’
The other gods begin grumbling with their own complaints.
‘And this is normal?’ I ask.
‘Well,’ Thanatos says, casting a look around the room, ‘this is consistently higher numbers of fatalities than I’ve ever seen.’
There are murmured nods of agreement.
‘All right, thank you,’ I say, dismissing them. We can’t keep going on like this. Which means I need to speak to my husband – and, after last night, that’s the last thing I want to do.
I find Hades in the library, clutching a cup of nectar and looking dreadful. His eyes are bloodshot, his himation is crooked, and he is hunched over a scroll like he’s using his body to shield it from the light.
‘Well, I hope it wasn’t kissing me that made you throw up last night.’
