Hermes chuckles. ‘There was a time when I might have dismissed that notion but, knowing you as I now do, I wouldnot be surprised if you ran down here and blackmailed Hades into your matrimonial bidding.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m clearly besotted,’ Hades says.
‘Bewitched, more like,’ Hermes mutters.
‘Hermes,’ I warn. He likes to see how far he can push such things.
‘Yes, yes, I know. You’re disgustingly in love with each other. No need to prove it any more. It’s enough to put one off food for life.’
‘I’ll write the letter,’ I offer before the two of them can start bickering. ‘Father thinks I’m innocent.’
I expect Hermes to scoff but instead he gives me an appraising look like I’m running some con he can’t help but appreciate.
I spend far too long crafting the letter to my father.
When I hand it to Hermes, he passes me another – one that got lost, though I’m sure he simply kept it apart for some sort of dramatic moment.
Persephone,
Come to the surface, please. If you want all this to stop then we need to talk.
Come home – I love you.
Mother x
‘Thank you, Hermes. Excuse me.’
I rush from the hall to somewhere more private. I find one of Hades’ libraries and lean against its dusty shelves. ShouldI go? Plead with her one more time? Throw dignity aside and tell her I’ll do anything she wants but I won’t return home, that this is my home now?
Should I maybe even consider agreeing, if it will save all this misery?
No. That’s silly. I’m not negotiating. The other gods are putting pressure on her. We just need to wait it out. I need to ignore her until she caves and then, once the humans are no longer dying like flowers in a drought, we can have a conversation.
But the thought of returning to the humans to read more names of those joining us, to arrange yet another trial, has me in tears. When I can’t breathe I admit that I have pushed myself too far. I can’t remember the last time I slept more than two hours in a row, the last time I ate something without rushing somewhere else.
All the doubts I felt when I first took the throne come rushing back, and suddenly I wonder if I can really do all this. I still feel like I’m pretending, wearing a costume, playing a role I have no right to be anywhere near.
Before I can curl into a ball, I make a rather clever decision I never would have made before, not even with Cyane.
I call for Hades.
When he walks into the room the words tumble free before I can think about how weak they make me sound. ‘I am very stressed and very sad and I would very much like not to be alone right now.’
‘Oh,’ he says. There’s a confused scowl on his face and I’m suddenly reminded of how I thought he was dangerous – how did he manage that with a scowl as adorable as his? ‘What do you need? I can distract you or we can talk or –’
‘Distract me? I tell you I’m sad and that’s your response? Get your mind out of the gutter.’
His eyes widen. ‘I meant with art … or conversation or …’
I laugh but it catches in my throat and Hades is suddenly holding me. I’m not sure what’s going to happen or whether Mother will ever stop, but right now it feels like we’ll survive this somehow.
‘She wants me to talk to her,’ I say, passing him the note.
He shakes his head as he reads it. ‘I don’t see what another conversation would possibly solve. She’s killing people. She doesn’t get to leverage that into you doing anything – whether that’s returning to Sicily or even having a conversation. If she really cared she’d stop and then talk on an even playing field.’
I nod. It’s the same conclusion I came to.
We spend the evening exchanging stories until my laughter is genuine. He toys with my hair absent-mindedly. I run my finger over the old paint that flecks his clothes and I lean into him but he pulls away, saying he is not going to take advantage of my distress. I retort that it would be me taking advantage of him as a distraction, and I’m not going to do that either, so we sit there resolutely not taking advantage of each other until we fall asleep. My final thought before drifting off is that I just want this, just this, for eternity.
