Is this how it begins? Small actions where we can make them?
The hecatoncheires take their chains and run the moment Hades turns his glare on them. I’m rubbing my wrists, thinking maybe there is hope even within the court of Olympus, when my mother appears before me.
We stare at each other.
‘I think we need to talk,’ she says.
Hades runs his hand along my arm and I squeeze it. I appreciate the comfort but I need to do this alone.
‘I’ll meet you back here,’ I say to him.
Mother takes me to the courtyard. It’s in the same place as it is in my and Hades’ palace. It’s not as nice. There are no flowers when the ground is curling clouds. Instead there are marble benches and singing Muses.
We find a bench and when we sit she turns to me.
‘I don’t want you to hate me,’ she says.
‘You let so many people die,’ I say, unable to believe it even now. ‘Because you didn’t want me to face my own guilt? Come on, Mother, you know that’s not –’
‘It wasn’t just that,’ she says, glancing around the courtyard before shaking her head. ‘I imagine the guards will escort me out as soon as Zeus remembers he banished me.’
‘I’m sorry about that,’ I say. He might have banished herbecause she lied about causing the famine, but I saw his temper wearing thin with her as she searched for me.
‘Don’t be,’ she dismisses. ‘It’ll be a few years at most. He can’t kick me off the council without explaining how you outsmarted them all. He’ll probably tell everyone Hades tricked you into eating those seeds. Heavens forbid anyone believe you make your own decisions.’
I swallow. ‘Like me running to Hell.’
Mother nods. ‘He’s also barred Hestia from joining the council and taken xenia from her. You proved how powerful it was and he can’t stand someone else having a thing like that. When the mortals started calling him Zeus Xenios, Hestia said she didn’t care who the power belonged to so long as it kept people safe but I think she might have just been saying that to save face.’ Mother takes a breath and gives me a look weighted with such gravity I feel immobilized by it. ‘If everyone believes in your power there will be even more driving him to find a way to take it from you. So perhaps it’s better to let him spread his lies about how all this came to be.’
My jaw tenses. I wanted to stop hiding behind lies.
But that’s okay, I don’t need to argue with Father – not when I’m already fighting him in other, more insidious ways.
Mother sighs. ‘Persephone, I have another confession. I didn’t keep the fact it was your power causing the famine from you solely for your conscience. Your father has only ever tried to strip power from you – from anyone he sees as a potential threat, as Hestia proves. Those who excel do so because they appease him but you’ve only ever wanted power for yourself. He’s terrified of that. Frankly, I think he sees a part of himself in it and knows what he did to get his crown. If he thoughtI was responsible for all that death then he wouldn’t realize it was you. The things you’ve done in the Underworld alone would be too much for him. I couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he realized you were impacting Earth too. And ifyoudidn’t realize the true extent of your power, I thought maybe he wouldn’t find out either.’
I take a moment to let the weight of her words settle. Of course that’s what she’d do, all she’s ever done: try to protect me.
I glance away.
‘You need to stop,’ I say. ‘I love you, I do, but please stop trying to protect me.’
‘I can’t do that, my child.’
‘Don’t you get it? It’s not just Father who’s been stamping any hint of power from me. My whole life you’ve been trying to push me into this box and … I feel like if I let you down the world will crumble. I feel guilty for so much as thinking something you wouldn’t approve of, like you’ll never love me if I –’
‘I’ll always love you,’ she says fiercely.
‘I know that, logically – but the way Ifeel? The way you’vemademe feel?’ I shake my head. ‘I have all of eternity and I’m not sure I’ll ever fully work out how I feel about you. But your expectations hurt me.’
She reaches for my hand and I let her take it, only because even now I feel guilty for saying all this, and she looks so very sad.
‘You don’t remember much of your childhood, do you?’
It’s not what I’m expecting her to say.
‘What? Why does that matter?’
‘Your first memory, Persephone. What is it?’
