‘To hold me captive without anyone stumbling across me?’
‘Yes. But that’s not the case? You want to be here?’ I can see her struggling to rewrite the narrative she’d assumed.
I suppose it’s nice to know that if Hadeshadkidnapped me, this woman would have fought her own king for me.
‘I asked him to help me. I couldn’t think where else to go. My mother and father want me to marry, and I … well, I won’t do it.’
‘Marry who?’
‘I don’t know yet,’ I say. ‘It’s just … it’s not what I want. I want to see the world and meet people and learn and … It doesn’t matter.’
‘Of course it matters.’
I shake my head. ‘All that matters is what Idon’twant – and that’s home and hearth. I don’t want to be locked up in a house and then … I mean, I don’t even know if I ever want children, let alone right now. And aside from my father I hadn’t even met a man before Hades. Well, there were some at my amphidromia, but I barely remember them, and Mother expects me to … and … Father just wants to control … I just …’
It’s all coming out of me quicker than I can make sense of it.But it’s difficult to put words to the deep-rooted feeling in my gut that has me struggling for air when I think of my future.
And I don’t know why but I don’t want Styx thinking Hades took me. He might be an irritating, obnoxious arse but he isn’t the sort of monster I was raised to fear. He didn’t drag me here, hasn’t blackmailed me, hasn’t hurt me. Forced looms and spying nymphs aren’t the sorts of things that make it into the stories Mother tells. They’re actions that deserve spiteful flowers and thinly veiled insults, not your subjects believing you kidnapped someone.
‘Gods, this is a mess,’ she says, pushing her hair back from her face. It’s so damp it sticks into shape. ‘So you ran here because Zeus is making you marry someone? And Hades is … protecting you?’
I nod. ‘He doesn’t want to but I bound him by xenia.’
‘Smart,’ she says. ‘But you can trust him.’
‘You were the one screaming at him two minutes ago. Clearly you think he’s capable of some terrible things.’
‘I’m the goddess of hate.’ She shrugs. ‘I can get carried away. Xenia forces him to give you a roof to stay under, not keep your presence secret. He’s doing that of his own volition.’
‘And the nymphs he’s got following me?’
‘Hades can be paranoid. For good reason – you should hear some of the things the other gods swear on my waters.’
As we walk, I see the asphodel has spread even further, and the Underworld’s acidic smell is replaced with the fresh floral scents of so many flowers that I don’t even notice we’re near her river until I see styx blossoms running along the banks like foam on a wave’s edge.
‘How long have you been here?’ she asks.
‘A couple of days.’
‘Fates, that’s what I was afraid of.’ She sighs. ‘Not long at all. If I’ve found out already then soon other gods will too. I’m the oath keeper – that’s why people swear on my waters. But the others won’t keep things secret like I will. They are loyal to Hades but if they think it will win favour with Zeus …’
‘I know,’ I say softly. Hades and Poseidon might rule courts but Zeus is king of the gods. He claims they’re all equal but it’s a lie everyone pretends to believe because no one can bear another war. My father has the most power here. ‘I’m trying to figure out what happens after. I just need some time.’
She nods. ‘All right, I’ll have a think. But if this is all the time you have … make the most of it.’
I nod. ‘I am. Or, at least, I’m trying to. Actually, about that, do you know where the humans are? The dead ones, I mean.’
She gives me an appraising look. ‘Yes, but you won’t get much out of them.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Their souls decay the moment they enter this realm. Most of them are little more than memories at this point. But follow the waters of my river that way until it meets the Lethe and across that you’ll find them. Keep close to my banks if you don’t want to run into any other gods; they quite literally hate being near my waters. Enjoy – and we’ll talk soon.’
She takes a step towards the water but her eyes catch on the flowers again and she bends to pluck one.
‘These truly are beautiful,’ she says, twirling it between her fingers. ‘I feel like I should hate it – pink isn’t quite my colour. But you’ve made the petals ripple. It feels like home.’ She offers a smile. ‘Thank you.’
She reaches forward to tuck the flower behind my ear. ‘There,’ she says. ‘It’s like I’m with you, keeping you safe.’
