Marrying Hades doesn’t just mean staying in this realm forever, but becoming a ruler of it, becoming its queen. What does that even mean? Attending the court, watching over the realm – holding power. It’s all I ever wanted.
But … I can’t do that to him. This is his realm. He’s already doing so much for me by agreeing to this marriage; he shouldn’t lose power in the process. It’ll have to be in name only, a tiara on my head and a throne to sit on and my mouth kept shut.
Can I do that? How is that any different from the wife Mother was preparing me to become?
‘I can’t do this.’
‘I thought this was your choice!’
‘It is,’ I confirm. ‘But it doesn’t feel like one. How am I supposed to be queen of Hell? I can’t actually do anything without usurping Hades, and I can’t do nothing for the rest of eternity.’
‘Okay, well, you’re not usurping Hades – you’re marrying him. Besides, since when is that an issue? I seem to recall you saying you didn’t care whether he approved of your plans to create an afterlife. You’re picking quite the time to worry about taking his power.’
‘Yes, well, things change.’
‘You’re telling me.’ She rubs her temples. ‘You have met your fiancé, right? He doesn’t exactly love ruling this place. He clings to that crown solely because it means no one has the right to question him about who he is or what he does. He’d probably love you to help out so he can spend more time reading or painting or whatever hobby he’s favouring that week.’
‘Well, I can’t do that either,’ I yelp as panic surges through me.
‘What?’
‘I don’t know the first thing about ruling a realm.’
She takes my hand and runs soothing circles with her thumb like Cyane always used to. ‘You want to make this place better – that’s the most important thing. And you’ve already done that. The flowers –’
I laugh and her grip on my hand tightens.
‘No, don’t do that,’ she scolds. ‘The flowers are wonderful. They’re life itself – which was lacking before you came here. And you haven’t created paradise yet, but you’ve been restoring souls and keeping them safe. You’re already acting as queen. And that’s already so much power, Persephone.’
‘Yes. More power than I’ve ever had before. What am I supposed to do with more of it?’
‘You’re scared of power now? You told your father you wanted the world when you were eight years old. Where’s that ruthless, demanding little girl?’
I swallow. If my amphidromia taught me anything it’s that my father’s world has no place for a girl like that.
‘They made it your name, made it an insult, turned it into something it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with being a little girl, love. Little girls are fearless.’
I consider that. There might be something lurking that I’ve buried – the side of me that craves power, the longing for something darker that drew me to the Underworld to begin with. The part of me that is thrilled at the thought of a crown.
My hesitation, my reluctance, my fear – is that what I’m supposed to feel?
‘It’s understandable if this is all a bit much. You haven’t had time to process it. And if it helps you to focus on keeping Hades safe then focus on that. But you should know it’s not just Hades you’re doing this for. And it’s not just yourself either. You’re doing this for me and every inhabitant of this realm. You’ve been here three weeks and it’s already a changed place – a better one.’
I want to deny it and say that she’s wrong, that I’m nothing and no one and powerless and just a stupid girl in over her head.
But I don’t think that’s my voice talking.
I nod. Styx draws me into her arms. It takes a moment but then I’m hugging her back.
‘See,’ she says. ‘It will all be fine. Now, am I your maid of honour? Or will that be difficult if I’m also Hades’ best man?’
‘Are we really going to have to fight over you?’
She waves a hand. ‘You’ll be fine – you have other friends. I’m all he has.’
‘Really?’
‘No, of course not. But how close can they be when he’s keeping so much of himself from them? I, on the other hand, am privy to all his secrets. And that makes us besties whether he wants to be or not. Oh! I just thought – with your proposal and everything, does this mean he knows how you feel?’
